Rihanna Called....

... she wants her song/pop identity/vocal signatures back (Nicole Shirts-a-Wringer, I am quothing to you).

(If only Empress Rhi did call.. *writes out phone number on S&N and checks phone obsessively for rest of entire life*)

This is hardly an 'exclusive' or an elucidating, hard hitting piece of investigative journalism, but what's going on ('Mother, mother, there's too many of you crying' etc. etc.)? The new Nicole Shrimp-Wrangler MV for "Right There" has just been released and it is a veritable game of spot-the-plagiarism. Alexis Jordan's treadmill sidewalk? Tick. A Willow Smith whippable hair braid interlaced with ribbons that's reminiscent of Queen Gwen's Frida Kahlo hair-homage in "Luxurious"? Tick tick boom. Street set up, dance routines and costumes taken from a "Crazy in Love" episode of MTV's Becoming (a.k.a. one of the best, and most greatly missed, pieces of television to ever grace our screens)? Tic (tac). A dance break that seems to copy one of the cheapest looking, and most rapidly dating 'nyitecloob' dance breaks ever, found in the enduring masterpiece that is the Pussycat Doll's "Beep"? Tik Tok. Nicole's even tried to take on The Rihanna Lipcurl™ (that takes a starring role in the "Rude Boy" MV).

It's no longer enough to offer a visual metamorphosis with each album campaign. We're at hyper speed now, so a new visual identity/reinvention has to be forged for each new music video, even each new performance or public appearance. This isn't exactly new *inserts some spurious comment about how Madonna pioneered this restless/constantly surprising approach to the music/image relationship (symbiosis?)* and can be seen in just about every current pop star's recent campaign. In offering a distinct, thematic 'look' that corresponds somehow to the song at hand, artists can appear to showcase not only a professional or artistic versatility - perhaps travelling from something dance heavy to a vocally challenging ballad and back again - but also some degree of personal depth, by linking image alterations in their work to the facets and nuances of one personality.

Although it's illusory, it can still be effective; Katy Perry might grate a little when blasting tit-cream into your face, but when she's waxing lyrical about adolescent diddlings she might seem to be offering up a more vulnerable, and relatable, part of herself. Katy Perry's also a good example of this image reliant method of illustrating a professional/personal versatility, as she used a photo slideshow of her intimate 'happy-married-couple' snaps as a backdrop for her high profile performance at the Grammys this year.

But this approach doesn't work if instead of cultivating your own seeming visual subdivisions (if that even makes sense?) you are just nicking other people's and cobbling them together as seen in Nicole Shroud-Wriggler's sexytime serenade above. She's not alone though. Although it can arguably be suggested that shameless copying and bandwagon-jumping is a commonplace feature in pop music that might seem to be purely throwaway and disposable - pop that relies heavily on whatever musical or sartorial trends happen to be floating about in the cultural ether, no matter how transient - it can be found in music that would seem to try and distance itself from that pop stereotype or assumption.


Step in Clare Maguire. Unlike dancer Nicole Shroom-Wrinkler, who has been part of a girl group that required choreography in unison and some degree of conformity, great emphasis has been placed on Clare Maguire's distinctiveness, both visually, with her pale skin and heavy, noir-glamour make up, but also vocally with both "Aint Nobody" and "The Last Dance" keeping her fairly static. She was almost pitched as a Siouxie Sioux with hair straighteners and some Pantene sleekening serum. Yet "The Shield and the Sword" has uprooted what seemed like a steady line of visual development and replaced it with a jumble of pop disguises. Seemingly dressed as, and acting as, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga and Adele tribute acts, the whole MV seems like a misguided attempt to show artistic flexibility. By seeming to remove any remaining hints of personality, the whole thing would seem to have failed - how can you show personal versatility when you've eradicated the personality? What is the point in trying to emphasise the chameleon-ic talents of transformation in an artist with such an idiosyncratic voice? It could actually be some sort of ironic commentary on the combative lyrics, with Maguire perhaps taking up her sword and waging war on other artists, but that seems unspecified and unlikely.

Various suggestions for an alternative video at S&N HQ (I love writing HQ, it sounds officious and turret-y) have included:

• Something Elizabethan featuring oversized ruffs and gory, corpse strewn battlefields.
• A Tess of the D'ubervilles style homicide and escape sequence.
• Just generally something that doesn't feature Róisín Murphy's old pom pom coat and an awkward dance routine.
• Something owl oriented and possibly medieval.

All of these are viable and aesthetically pleasing alternatives that avoid any shallow pastiches. Clare Maguire will obviously read this and take it on board for her next single video in which she will be fleeing a crime scene by cutting through an intestine-spattered battleground wearing some sort of Flemish wimple and an owl on each shoulder. In that set up her personality would be blinding and totally overwhelming etc. etc.

Stuck In Our Head: "The Shield and the Sword" - Clare Maguire

We were going to write something about how deeply disappointing Clare Maguire has turned out to be to us at some point, but we'll probably forget and anyhow, we don't see the point in needlessly slagging off an artist, especially one as hardworking and earnestly lovely as Clare.

Her album is a melting pot of sickly, dull, obvious MOR and AOR, the edge slightly taken off by some lovely (if predictable) swooping strings. The lyrics are heavy handed and allude so obviously to the breaking up of a relationship you start to think you're listening in on a very silly and long-winded therapy session. And Clare's voice, which has so much potential to be great, sounds too much like an (accurate but gratingly so) impression of various other singers (Antony, Lennox, Bush... even Florence) that it's impossible to get a full grasp on/of or love.

Having said all that there is one great track other than the already admired singles ("Ain't Nobody" and "The Last Dance"). "The Shield and the Sword" is Clare's trite shtick at its best: romantic, pounding, euphoric, slightly unusual with lyrics that don't do exactly what you expect. It's a welcome highlight in an otherwise schmaltzy wasteland. It's stuck in our heads.

Hmmm...

Pretty and pointless? Or Pretty but pointless. Or pretty in spite of its pointlessness?

We're sure some stan will leave a comment on here explaining the DEEPLY DETAILED AND NUANCED STORY behind this video. They will then go on to explain how STUPID we are for finding this pointless. But we have to say: for such a bold song that bravely walks the line between wobbly & delicate and ornate & overwrought, we expected something more visually... arresting. This video is like a work of modern art by someone who knows little to nothing about art history, or a piece of serialist classical music by someone who's never heard Beethoven. It's sleek and aesthetically pleasing, but also feels safe and MOR.

Not convinced.

W o a h.

Every time a solo female artist debuts who even VAGUELY whiffs of what music journalists love to call 'quirk', she is immediately compared to or held up next to Kate Bush. This isn't the collective fault of these artists - many of them only know Ms. Bush a little (some aren't fans, some are but aren't musically influenced). In fact, not one of them actually sounds anything like Queen Kate. Even Tori Amos and Regina Spektor (the two most successful female singer/songwriter/pianists to emerge since Kate Bush) sound absolutely nothing like The Ethereal KT either. So when these female artists are called 'the new Kate Bush' or described as sounding even a little bit like her, it is simply sexist journalistic laziness: there is very rarely even a grain of truth to it.

Over the past two years we've had to endure endless comparisons: Florence and the Machine was compared because she sings loudly in a pseudo-folk-pop style about stars and rabbit hearts, Little Boots, too (because she plays the piano and even embraced it by covering "Running Up That Hill"). Ellie Goulding who has almost nothing in common with the Goddess was also supposedly sharing in Kate's "quivering intensity". Marina, whose fondness for a silly mockney accent and swaggering oom-pah beat, was actually the most Bush thing about any solo female star of the past 10 years, was also hailed as Kate incarnate, although she also admitted she wasn't overly familiar with her work and the comparisons died down when she didn't achieve "Wuthering Heights" style chart success with her material.

One new artist hailed for great things in 2011 is Clare Maguire. Her brooding incantation-like debut single "Ain't Nobody" has been 'out there' for a while and is dark and captivating (although we worry it wouldn't be nearly as interesting without the breathtaking video). We know very little about Ms. Maguire, whose face seems to be covered more often than not, and who apparently was whisked off to be signed years ago after posting some internet demos - being in development ever since. But we do know that this, above - Clare Maguire's proper debut single "The Last Dance" - is stunning.

Stunning it may be, but it also sounds suspiciously like Kate Bush. No, really: those repeated synth-pad-and-strings chords, all lush and beguiling; that mature and rounded quivering voice; the over-enunciated ends of phrases; the syncopated rhythm, swaying and delicate; the lyrics, detailing the minutiae of emotion - not just how one feels but what one doesn't feel like doing. If you told me this was Kate Bush's new single, or even a very talented impersonator I would totally believe you. It's that startling and uncanny. Even our very own Jozobolla who is the most obsessed and knowledgeable Kate Bush STAN at Shiny & New HQ agrees that the similarities are remarkable (although she also added that their voices weren't identical and in fact Clare sounds more like Amy MacDonald !!!!!!).

So there you have it: a beautiful pop song that should and probably will SLAY in 2011, but also sounds suspiciously like the Grand High Priestess of Pop. Does this matter? Well, not really. We've heard two of Clare's other songs ("You're Electric" and "Strangest Thing") and neither of them sound remotely... erm... Bush. So in the long run, as long as it doesn't become her thing, it shan't matter - she seems talented enough to make a decent stab at success in the long-term. And depressingly, even if she continues to sound like Kate, most people probably won't notice, so. There's always that too.

This is as far as our coverage of BBC's Sound of 2011 is going to extend...

AMAZING!!!!