Fame Kills, Dies and other news bits...

• We resisted the urge to post this GaGa an Kanye tour promo for their co-headlining gig, Fame Kills, and it turns out we did the right thing (unwittingly obviously) because it is now completely and utterly cancelled. There is no official reason yet, but rumours are abound that either GaGa was embarrassed by Kanye's behaviour at the VMAs or that audiences were so embarrassed by Kanye's behaviour at the VMAs that tickets weren't shifting.

• This isn't strictly music news, but as fans of Quentin Tarantino's body of work we feel it our duty to inform you that Kill Bill vol. 3 will be out in 2014.

• We avoided the whole MOBOs business because, to be honest, unless you're Joanna Newsom, EVERYBODY in the music industry is making music of black origin. The entire history of popular music is rooted in black song and musical traditions. We get that the premise is to award 'urban' artists (an umbrella term we hate) but in that case we feel we should also have the MOFOGOs (Music of Female or Gay Origin) because, to be honest, women and gays don't get the props they deserve in music (hey! We 'invented' disco!).

• If you do care about the MOBOs, however, (and if anybody tries to spin this as racism, you obviously can't read) apparently Peter Andre chatted to Dappy N-Dubz in Greek backstage 'at the show'. Amazing.
  

Unconfirmed Rumours a.k.a. Slow News Day

• 'The' Sugababes' new album shall be called... *drumroll*... Sweet 7 (!).
• Leona Lewis' new album will be called Echo (we think this one is confirmed).
• Leona Lewis' new single will be called "Happy" (!!!!).
• It will be produced/written by Ryan of the Tedder, Tedder, Tedder (DO. YOU. SEE?!)
• Xtina's new album will be released in November, following a 'deeply personal interview' or something, set in her own luxury home (in which she will undoubtedly reveal the meaning of life or music or something).
  

A lament...

...for lack of new material.

Specifically from;

CARLSSON, ROBIN MIRIAM. ALSO KNOWN AS ROBYN.


NEW MATERIAL LAST SEEN IN 2005.

DITTO, ELIZABETH; HOWDESHELL, NATHAN; BLILIE, HANNAH. ALSO KNOWN AS GOSSIP.

NEW MATERIAL LAST SEEN SUMMER 2007; UNFORTUNATELY, THEY WERE MERE STUDIO DEMOS.

FENTY, ROBYN RIHANNA. GOES BY THE STAGE NAME OF RIHANNA.


NEW MATERIAL LAST SEEN 2008. UNFORTUNATELY, THEY WERE 'SONGS' RECORDED FOR A RE-RELEASE OF HER 2007 ALBUM, GOOD GIRL GONE BAD. TO THIS DATE, NINE SINGLES HAVE BEEN RELEASED FROM SAID ALBUM.

Shiny & New will be officially boycotting said above artists until they provide new material (e.g., music) of note. Any shoddiness from Robyn/Gossip/Rihanna will be duly noted and said artist will be erased from the iTunes library of each Shiny & New author, and through the combined powers of internet crime and mind control, the iTunes library of each Shiny & New reader.

Watch out.

NO, SRSLY.

LADY GAGA IS THE DOG'S HAIRY BOLLOCKS.

In other news;

• Guy Ritchie is rumoured to be seeing a relatively unknown British actress. Madonna is rumoured to be seeing one of the most famous sportsmen in the USA.
  
• Desperate Housewives has, officially, jumped the shark. :(
• Britney Spears' forthcoming album is probably more anticipated then Barack Obama entering the White House. Well, by the gays anyway. We're still bitter cos of Prop 8. Even though we're British and can actually get married to other homos. Lol.
• Colour is out. Black is in.
• Bush is out. Barack is in.
• Forget the "Rachel" hair do of the 90s. It's the "Suri" hair do the naughties that's really taking off! I'm getting mine tomorrow, when are you getting yours?

Yes, Yes, We KNOW

There are two new Pussycat Dolls videos, two new Beyoncé videos AND a new Lady GaGa video.

But what's MORE important than that is that in P!nk's amazing new single, Sober, There's a bit towards the end with what sounds like A BAROQUE STRING ORCHESTRA.

It's just a few seconds worth of strings but it so hauntingly beautiful it immediately renders her entire back catalogue POINTLESS.

If her album isn't the Pop/Rock album of the year, we'll eat our hats (sorry, Miley).

Struggling to find something of note.

It really is a struggle sometimes to think of an idea for a suitable post on this miraculous blog. Yesterday we were going to write an appraisal of the Stuart Price-produced new Keane song, versus the Stuart Price-produced new Killers song, but then we couldn't be bothered and decided the only reason we wanted to do that was so we could marvel at how much we actually like a Keane song (if you knew how much we used to hate Keane, you'd appreciate the dichotomy) and also to tag the post with "Madonna". You know, Stuart Price being the producer of Madge's gayest (read: best) album ever... we know, we know. Sorry.

Anyway.
We're going to go back to listening to male versions of Girls Aloud songs.

We suppose we could review the new Ladyhawke album, which we unsurprisingly bum... nah. 'cba'.

Magnificent.

Shit Girlband News

Girls Aloud continue to break all known barriers of amazingness in everything they do.

Sugababes, despite singing the Boots advert, somehow manage to avoid terribleness.

Newcomers, The Saturdays, are actually surpassing the low expectations everyone had of them by releasing very good songs.

Monrose continue to release completely bemusingly brilliant songs, despite their waning popularity in their home country of Germany.

All seems to be going well.

BUT HANG ON... what's THIS?!

A girlband called Stonefoxx?

STONEFOXX?

Apart from having perhaps the worst name for a girlband EVER, Stonefoxx have committed the sacrilege of covering amazing Monrose song Hot Summer.

Not only that but it is TEN MILLION TIMES LESS AMAZING THAN THE ORIGINAL.

Here at Shiny & New we're not against covers per se... some are lovely!... but some are terrible.

And those that are terrible should be banished from existance, or at least humiliated into submission via a series of scathing blog posts.

Above is a picture of the godawful Stonefoxx in action.

They look like three cheap tarts doing the live rounds on the Essex club circuit.

Revolting!

P.S. Tomorrow we will revert to writing in proper paragraphs and not individual sentences.