Choreography

Right, we're feeling especially lazy 'journalism'-wise, so we're gonna 'review' this via the medium of interpretive dance. Oh, wait no, via the medium of bullet point list:

• Thom Yorke doesn't seem like the kind of guy to engage in either choreography (Wayne McGregor's) or interpretive dance, but here he is, writhing, undulating and shaking like a possessed. We like the juxtaposition of seemingly staid and self-conscious nerdy white man twisting and thrusting.
• Tragic hat. We have never made our hatred for tragic hats known and now is not the time. However: tragic hat.
• The song, most importantly. The song is not bad. It is listenable and on second play it is mildly enjoyable BUT (and we sure we're going to get massacred or slaughtered for this comment by angry Radiohead stans who think that we just DO NOT UNDERSTAND REAL MUSIC and we have NO intelligence nor frame of reference for the STUNNING and MASTERFULLY HANDLED nods to things beyond our FEEBLE comprehension) it does sound quite a lot like Radiohead on autopilot. We feel, sonically, that we've been here before, and lyrically, like he can do better ("There's an empty space inside my heart" and "I'll set you free" sound like Kasabian or, even worse, Hard-Fi lyrics, but we do like the line about unfurling - 'unfurl' is a v. good word).

We haven't heard the album yet (we will, we are very busy people, GIVE US TIME) so maybe this is just one of the less interesting tracks, but we didn't feel, from listening, like Radiohead had explored something or somewhere new or forged ahead into an uncomfortable but rewarding (and hitherto unheard of) space. So.

Radiohead: Le Facts

Radiohead have a new album out in 5 days: SURPRISE!!!! LOL.

Basically-actually a digital version will be available to people in 5 (wait, no, 4) days providing they pre-order, pre-order, pre-order. But the actual physical versions-slash-proper release will be in March. Here are some of the facts. We filtered out the ones that will make you fall asleep:

• Release dates: 29th March - America, 28th March - everywhere else

That was quick. Oh and there's some other stuff. The press release keeps banging on about it being the world's first Newspaper Album, which makes it sound like they're giving it away free with the Daily Express (how the mighty hath fallen etc.) but in actuality/in real life/on the planet earth, what it literally means is that it will be a ridiculously expensive deluxe edition featuring lots of shiny artwork and little bits and pieces, like shards of Thom Yorke's glass eye and a packet of heroin tablets disguised as anti-depressants (for legal reasons: we may be JOKING about that last bit).

So yes, regular version available, then some poncey clear vinyl version (says the writer who owns a record player and over 40 vinyls), then some evil digital download (MP3s RUIN MUSIC ETC.) and then some fancy 'Couture' version (Radiohead copying Rihanna, what has the world come to) that will cost you 300 dollars and feature mostly raggedy art by people who didn't actually go to art school but reckon since they're quite good at being professionally odd (Please stop here, we actually like Radiohead, you're making this sound like a Comedy Channel Roast or something, stop. - Ed.)

So, yeah. 'Much excite'.