Oh well...

You can throw all the steampunk CGI at the wall you like, but if nothing with a beating heart sticks, we're just gonna be left stone cold.

When Buttons Take Over.

Yes we're well aware we should be hung, drawn and quartered for the headline, above.

Stuck In Our Head: "Sexy Bitch" - David Guetta with Akon

So far, our 'Stuck In Our Head' feature has only showcased songs that have been favourably embedded in our skulls. A bit of predictable chart dross here and there has peppered what has otherwise been a set of lovely and excellent little songs that we might otherwise not find a reason to write about. But all that is about to change (cue storm clouds).

The above 'ditty', David Guetta's latest dance smash, is not sonically execrable. In fact, with a different vocalist, a different sentiment and different lyrics, we might even come to feel a certain love for it. But Akon is an artist we have never felt particular fondness for. His proclivity for reducing women to revolving tits-on-a-pole doesn't please us at all, nor does his alleged dry-humping of an underaged girl (we said ALLEGED, SO DO NOT SUE US). Even with his 'sexist' behaviour and attitude set to one side, his nasal, vocodered tones are not 'our bag'. So it is with great sadness that we announce this dreadful ditty to be stuck in our head, because all whinging aside, it has the kind of chorus that could resurrect dead careers, and send disgraced musicians back to the top of the charts world wide.

Anyway, we'll let you judge for yourself as to whether you deem Akon's lyrics to be of the misogynist variety. We, at the very least, find them unsavoury.

"She's nothing like the girl you've ever seen before
Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood whore"

"I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful
Damn, youse a sexy bitch"

*Sicks up in mouth*

An Ibiza-themed Rowland/Guetta video

It does the job, doesn't it?! It seems, nowadays, that all you can really ask for, from a video, is that it does the job. It's a sad state of affairs. But it's our reality. A cold reality. But it's our truth. A truth we must universally acknowledge.

Recommendations
"Work (Freemasons Remix)" - Kelly Rowland
"Love Is Gone" - David Guetta
Priceless: Kelly Rowland's face

Another highlight from Radio 1's 'Big' Weekend

Kelly Rowland's vocals are extremely flawless, aren't they? Apparently even David Guetta got goosebumps (Jo Whiley said so, allegedly).

We can pretty much guarantee you will be dancing to this at some point during summer '09

This, good readers, is the new David Guetta single and what's extra special about this one is that it features non-other than (mildly guilty) S&N fave Kelly Rowland on vo-cah-lez.

We know it sounds a little bit like "Cocks" (sorry, "Clocks") by Coldplay, but we don't really care, because by June, at least, we will all be dancing around in a NON-drug-induced haze, with our hands in the air to this massive, bonkers, silly club anthem.