As part of Leona Lewis' new edgy makeover, she has decided to get creative with sequins, in two ways and experiment with pink and green.
Atrocious.
Showing posts with label Leona Lewis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Leona Lewis. Show all posts
3.9.11
Oh.
As part of Leona Lewis' new edgy makeover, she has decided to get creative with sequins, in two ways and experiment with pink and green.
Atrocious.
15.7.11
Oh chica!!
It's the new Alexis Jordan single, "Smash Into You". Oh wait, no it's the new Leona Lewis song, "Collide". It's... ok let's do some bullet points because we're lazy and terrible at writing (/possibly still hungover):
- If this came on in a club environment we would dance to it.
- This sounds so much like an Alexis Jordan song that we feel the need to mention it again because we're just making up for the fact that everyone involved clearly glossed over it in the hopes that the public are too stupid to notice such things, or maybe they just didn't care. After all, "California Gurls" was so blatantly indebted to Ke$ha's "TiK ToK" that we're surprised Dr. Luke didn't sue himself, and the former was still a massive, massive hit, so maybe people just don't give a shit about this sort of thing and aren't that bothered about people coming up with original sounds or ideas any more.
- It sort of sounds like something you'd hear playing The Sims.
- There's not enough variation, chord-wise. It feels a bit... aimless and one-note.
- That's not really much of a chorus, is it?
- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
18.2.10
Leona Lewis' flaming heart.
You know in 'the moviez' or on 'the tvz' when there's a character who is far too nice to be true, but y'know, they're nice so you just accept it (for instance poor disabled Cath in stunningly good black comedy show Nighty Night). And they take shit from everyone in the 'motion picture'. They are the doormat, a walkover, they spend more time pleasing other people than is generally healthy and acceptable. They will go the extra mile even if the person they're helping treats them like shit.
And then finally they snap. They break. They go mad and it all ends in blood, guts, tears and fecal matter. It's a mess. There's killing, nervous breakdowns and triple suicides. And all because somebody was just TOO NICE for their own good and they had a mental breakdown.
And then finally they snap. They break. They go mad and it all ends in blood, guts, tears and fecal matter. It's a mess. There's killing, nervous breakdowns and triple suicides. And all because somebody was just TOO NICE for their own good and they had a mental breakdown.
19.1.10
Begrudgingly Stuck In Our Head: "I See You" - Leona Lewis
Yes, yes we KNOW this is absolutely dreadful, but a) it's genuinely stuck in our head (the horror!) and b) it gives us an opportunity to talk about that Avatar film, being that we rarely find opportunities to do so on our MUZIK blog.
First of all, despite "I See You"'s horrendously tacky lyrics about the opening of hearts, and worlds you could never imagine, there's some lovely sweeping production on this song. YES, YOU READ CORRECTLY. Those bells at the start are startlingly lovely and we appreciate how the melody doesn't always do what you expect (well it is composed by a proper composer 'n' all) by throwing in the odd sharpened third and that. There's also a spectacular 'melisma' at the key change. Yes we did just do serious music talk, deal with it!
Anyway it's a testament to the song's inherent shitness that despite the lovely production and odd imaginative touches, it's still trite, contrived, soppy, obvious and annoying. Well done, everyone involved.
We suppose this brings us to the film itself. We briefly touched on it in our 'humourous' (terrible) coverage of the new Alphabeat video but let us expand. Avatar is, undoubtedly, one of the most visually stunning films ever made, especially in 3D. We're usually completely indifferent to the plight of the third filmic dimension, but for Avatar it really works. The wondrous (if derivative) world of Pandora is stunningly rendered, every fluttering leaf, glowing flower, iridescent creature looks spectacular and specifically captured this writer's imagination. That, however, is where the compliments end.
There's been a big hoo-ha on the internet about the similarity in plot between Avatar and Pocahontas (something we noticed immediately, remarking - it's just Pocahontas in space!) but there's a crucial difference between those two stories: whilst Pocahontas is based on a true story and has a tragic ending (she dies, 'fyi', and America is conquered), Avatard is entirely fictional and contains a hamfisted almost impossibly positive ending. Whilst on the land of Pandora, the indigenous people who inhabit it can fight evil, 2-dimensional humans and win, in the real word, indigenous people never win. They don't have the reinforced alien bones or spectacular giant pterodactyls to carry them to victory. They are crushed by imperial forces and no one does anything about it.
Whilst we're sure James Cameron's heart is mostly in the right place, and the psuedo-environmentalist message of the film is an admirable one, the way the story unfolds is not only deeply insensitive and patronising to indigenous peoples but it also manages to simultaneously eroticise, exoticise and glamourise their lifestyle. Anyway perhaps the most infuriating thing about the film is that it basically plays out as a quasi-liberal white-guilt fantasy. By making this film, James Cameron has quenched his guilt about the slaughter of Native Americans. He has retold the story, saved the natives and wrapped it up with a happy ending bow. First of all, this doesn't change or atone for what really happened, and secondly, if you're going to preach about the preservation of nature and indigenous cultures in your film, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT IN REAL LIFE YOU MULTI-BILLIONAIRE IDIOT.
Another niggle is that the native Na'vi people in Avatar seem to be incapable of fighting for themselves (despite their supposed strengths) without the aid of the hunky, white, American, military protagonist. The entire film might have been much more palatable if (AND SPOILERS BE HERE) the tribes had been brought together to fight back by Neytiri who is actually OF the tribe, as opposed to her hunky white outsider boyfriend.
It's impossible to claim that this film works as a parable for the conquest of other countries on Earth, and then refuse to be insulted when hoardes of viewers completely indulge in the fantasy of joining a tribe without actually having to do so. Yes all those people in the audience wish they could live a wonderful care-free tribal life full of flowers and bows 'n' arrows and mystic trees but they're not willing to fight against imperialist conquest and if you were to plonk them down in the rainforest to live this life they fantasise about, they'd start crying for their iPhones within minutes.
Just escapist bullshit, really. And don't get us started on how they stole those pterodactyls and the whole initiation shit from the skybaxes in the Dinotopia books.
First of all, despite "I See You"'s horrendously tacky lyrics about the opening of hearts, and worlds you could never imagine, there's some lovely sweeping production on this song. YES, YOU READ CORRECTLY. Those bells at the start are startlingly lovely and we appreciate how the melody doesn't always do what you expect (well it is composed by a proper composer 'n' all) by throwing in the odd sharpened third and that. There's also a spectacular 'melisma' at the key change. Yes we did just do serious music talk, deal with it!
Anyway it's a testament to the song's inherent shitness that despite the lovely production and odd imaginative touches, it's still trite, contrived, soppy, obvious and annoying. Well done, everyone involved.
We suppose this brings us to the film itself. We briefly touched on it in our 'humourous' (terrible) coverage of the new Alphabeat video but let us expand. Avatar is, undoubtedly, one of the most visually stunning films ever made, especially in 3D. We're usually completely indifferent to the plight of the third filmic dimension, but for Avatar it really works. The wondrous (if derivative) world of Pandora is stunningly rendered, every fluttering leaf, glowing flower, iridescent creature looks spectacular and specifically captured this writer's imagination. That, however, is where the compliments end.
There's been a big hoo-ha on the internet about the similarity in plot between Avatar and Pocahontas (something we noticed immediately, remarking - it's just Pocahontas in space!) but there's a crucial difference between those two stories: whilst Pocahontas is based on a true story and has a tragic ending (she dies, 'fyi', and America is conquered), Avatard is entirely fictional and contains a hamfisted almost impossibly positive ending. Whilst on the land of Pandora, the indigenous people who inhabit it can fight evil, 2-dimensional humans and win, in the real word, indigenous people never win. They don't have the reinforced alien bones or spectacular giant pterodactyls to carry them to victory. They are crushed by imperial forces and no one does anything about it.
Whilst we're sure James Cameron's heart is mostly in the right place, and the psuedo-environmentalist message of the film is an admirable one, the way the story unfolds is not only deeply insensitive and patronising to indigenous peoples but it also manages to simultaneously eroticise, exoticise and glamourise their lifestyle. Anyway perhaps the most infuriating thing about the film is that it basically plays out as a quasi-liberal white-guilt fantasy. By making this film, James Cameron has quenched his guilt about the slaughter of Native Americans. He has retold the story, saved the natives and wrapped it up with a happy ending bow. First of all, this doesn't change or atone for what really happened, and secondly, if you're going to preach about the preservation of nature and indigenous cultures in your film, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT IN REAL LIFE YOU MULTI-BILLIONAIRE IDIOT.
Another niggle is that the native Na'vi people in Avatar seem to be incapable of fighting for themselves (despite their supposed strengths) without the aid of the hunky, white, American, military protagonist. The entire film might have been much more palatable if (AND SPOILERS BE HERE) the tribes had been brought together to fight back by Neytiri who is actually OF the tribe, as opposed to her hunky white outsider boyfriend.
It's impossible to claim that this film works as a parable for the conquest of other countries on Earth, and then refuse to be insulted when hoardes of viewers completely indulge in the fantasy of joining a tribe without actually having to do so. Yes all those people in the audience wish they could live a wonderful care-free tribal life full of flowers and bows 'n' arrows and mystic trees but they're not willing to fight against imperialist conquest and if you were to plonk them down in the rainforest to live this life they fantasise about, they'd start crying for their iPhones within minutes.
Just escapist bullshit, really. And don't get us started on how they stole those pterodactyls and the whole initiation shit from the skybaxes in the Dinotopia books.
19.10.09
A peculiarly attractive Leona video...
Considering this is one of the most bland, obvious, beige, hookless, tasteless, empty, featureless, grey, MOR, inoffensive, lowest-common-denominator, mainstream, husk-like, saccharine, dreary songs of all time, the video ain't half bad!
Leona looks pretty, it's set and filmed in Cuba, and it has a story line that sort of captures your imagination and catches your attention without resorting to cheap tricks!!!
Leona looks pretty, it's set and filmed in Cuba, and it has a story line that sort of captures your imagination and catches your attention without resorting to cheap tricks!!!
16.10.09
COVERART WARZZZZ! Part #5
They both won they X Factor, they're both girls, they're both good at warbling, they both hail from London. OTHER THAN THAT THEY HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON. We're going to compare their coverarts anyway...
Shininess:
Leona Lewis: 10/10 (actual waxwork lady)
Alexandra Burke: 9/10 (very healthy sheen)
Beautosity:
Leona Lewis: 4/10 (well, it's a look...)
Alexandra Burke: 6/10 (a bit blank-eyed, but very pretty)
Styling:
Leona Lewis: 5/10 (the dress could be lovely, BUT THE HAIR)
Alexandra Burke: 5/10 (nice dress and hair, HORRIBLE JEWELLRY)
Font/Logo:
Leona Lewis: 4/10 ('meh', but it glows!)
Alexandra Burke: 3/10 (just 'meh', really)
Overal Iconicity (X) Factor:
Leona Lewis: 7/10 (we hate to admit it, but it's 'iconic' looking)
Alexandra Burke: 6/10 (get back to us in 10 years)
And the winner is...
Leona Lewis, not that we're going to listen to her album, now or EVER. Sorry Alexandra, we love you, and we will listen to your album, slightly dodgy cover or not.
Shininess:
Leona Lewis: 10/10 (actual waxwork lady)
Alexandra Burke: 9/10 (very healthy sheen)
Beautosity:
Leona Lewis: 4/10 (well, it's a look...)
Alexandra Burke: 6/10 (a bit blank-eyed, but very pretty)
Styling:
Leona Lewis: 5/10 (the dress could be lovely, BUT THE HAIR)
Alexandra Burke: 5/10 (nice dress and hair, HORRIBLE JEWELLRY)
Font/Logo:
Leona Lewis: 4/10 ('meh', but it glows!)
Alexandra Burke: 3/10 (just 'meh', really)
Overal Iconicity (X) Factor:
Leona Lewis: 7/10 (we hate to admit it, but it's 'iconic' looking)
Alexandra Burke: 6/10 (get back to us in 10 years)
And the winner is...
Leona Lewis, not that we're going to listen to her album, now or EVER. Sorry Alexandra, we love you, and we will listen to your album, slightly dodgy cover or not.
5.10.09
Who is this vision of photoshop?
- "She looks like a waxwork tranny."- "She looks like a taxidermied rottweiler."
- "YOU AIN'T BEYONCÉ LOVE AND NEVER WILL BE"
Just a few reactions round the S&N 'office'.
6.9.09
Two big comeback singles not pushing our buttons...
- In the name of honesty, candour and justice: none of us are fans of Robbie Williams or Leona Lewis anyway...
- Both the above songs are catchy in their own right, and we can see their appeal.
- Still: nothing.
- It's like when your friend says "I really fancy this well fit bloke, isn't he arousing in the front bottom area?" and you say "Well... no. No offence to you or your taste, but despite his attractive veneer he does almost nothing for me. I just don't get it." And then your friend gets very annoyed and huffy because they want you to see things THEIR way, but the more they say "YOU HAVE TO SEE IT" the more and more you don't WANT to see it, and before you know it you're not friends any more or ever again and it was all because of same faceless hunk, who, in the grand scheme of things is worth tuppence, if that.
- So sorry Robbie and Leona fans. No offence, but no. No stirrings from us.
30.4.09
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
