Budget!

Imagine the Pussyflap Trolls' "When I Grow Up" video with a severely depleted budget and a severe lack of dancing and you have the new Saturdays video. Wasn't Flo Rida supposed to be in this!? Also, why does the first chorus consist mostly of shots of OTHER people dancing?! Are the Sats incapable of a dance routine themselves? It makes little to no sense. Standard, and not in the South Asian sense of the word ('brills') but in the original sense ('ordinary').

Christ on a bike: no.

Where now?

Girls Aloud's 3rd album, Chemistry, was a bizarre, themed, frenetic pop confection with choral intros, rapid-fire pseudo-rapping, lyrics referencing light sadomasochism, and shimmering singles like "Biology" constructed entirely out of 73 choruses all stitched together in a row.

So this really isn't up to scratch, all things considered.

Odd. Sad.

We thought we had this, the new single by The Saturdays, stuck in our head. It's called "Missing You". In fact, we were mistaken. What we really had stuck in our head was this, a cheap, repetitive single by a Justin Bieber knockoff. Not good.

A static Saturdays video...

This is all very high-budget, and everything. And the girls all look fabulous, if a bit 'X-Men-themed-party-at-G-A-Y-this--saturday-!!!-2-pounds-a-pitcher-of-woo-woo'. But couldn't they have at least ATTEMPTED a dance routine? It's a 'stomper' (note to Shiny & New: don't use word 'stomper' ever again). We demand dance!

Wordshaker: First Impressions

Despite every single bitchy pop blog queen in the entire interdots declaring that The Saturdays big lead 'sophomore' comeback single "Forever Is Over" would flop beyond all reason, it's actually doing incredibly well. This signifies that even releasing a substandard mid-tempo pop/rock ballad with an execrable video and derivative production, The Saturdays have entered the public consciousness to a degree that almost everything they release will probably go top ten. How very Girls Aloud, mark 2.

Anyway, their new kitchen appliance, Wordshaker (now available at all Wilkinson's, and Poundstretchers) has had the chance to impress itself upon our ears and the verdict is: 'hmmmmm'. There's much more variety on this one. Despite having lead us to believe that they were heading in a 'rockier' direction, there are still plenty of what lazy pop aficionados have come to label 'club bangers' on the album (most notably "One Shot", "Wordshaker" and "Ego"). This gives an overall impression of a slap-up 'this'll do' approach. A bit of a The Sweet Escape sound going on (i.e. an album full of leftovers from the last one).

The songs on it are not bad as such, but the whole affair feels a little lacklustre spearheaded by one of the album's weakest songs. We'll have to get back to you on this when we've had a more thorough listen, but right now we've got the general impression of a 'good' collection of mainstream pop songs as opposed to the second coming of Britain's New Favourite Girlband. A lot seems to be hanging on the second single choice. Choose well, girls.

That was quick.

As much as "Forever Is Over" is 'quite a good pop song' and seems like it COULD be exactly the right thing to launch the Saturdays second album, the video doesn't exactly scream BIG STONKING COMEBACK, does it? It sort of says 'solid 2nd/3rd single'. But it doesn't say ALERT!! THE SATURDAYS ARE BACK!! It's arrived very quickly, hasn't it?

Anyway... In this video, in amongst the shots of the Saturdays cooking (!), talking earnestly on a red telephone, writing fervently in a diary and throwing popcorn at the Irish one (racism) there's a brilliant moment that just captures the imagination. Someone (we think it's Frankie) is typing angrily at her computer where she has 'cleverly' done the world LOVER in a big font on her laptop:

With one fell swoop, one brutal stab of the backspace key, she effectively, metaphorically ends a relationship. With one tap of the keyboard she changes the evocative word 'LOVER' to this:

Just sad, isn't it? We wonder how many record label interns it took to come up with that one.

Anyway, it'll be interesting (to some people) to see how all this pans out. The Saturdays have managed, against odds, to establish themselves as a big proper girlband in the UK, and this 2nd album malarkey will be crucial in shaping their careers in the longterm. We can't tell yet (obviously... we ain't Mystic Meg) whether their 'new direction' will be a success or not, but we're pretty sure it'll either be the making or the breaking of them. Let's hope for the former.

The Saturdays 'rock'...

As predicted, or rather as per the rumours, The Saturdays new single is, in fact, 'rockier' than their previous sound (if by 'rockier' you mean Kelly Clarkson-lite). There's a preview up above and we are going to do the sensible thing and RESERVE JUDGEMENT BECAUSE IT WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY CHANGE. It sounds like it may be a hit. It sounds like it will probably lodge itself in your brain. It sounds like a nice progression from their first album. But beyond that... we're going to wait and see. It's probably a good idea if we actually hear the whole song first. That little clip up there only consists of what we presume is the chorus. Maybe it has a killer riff in the intro we haven't heard... we live in hope.

Anyway, whilst this is all very exciting (some of you may also like to know that they've ditched their trademark 'colours', so no more 'wee-coloured tights') we also did a little digging and managed to find out, via the magic of twitter, that the 'rockier' direction may have been FRANKIE'S IDEA ALL ALONG. Yeah, we ain't pointing fingers, but she openly likes Paramore (nothing wrong with that) so it was clearly all her idea. Oh and Una's because she gets out her guitar at EVERY opportunity.

Prepare yourselves...

The new Saturdays single, "Forever Is Over", is supposedly 'premièring' on radio this Sunday (BBC Radio 1, of course) and, if rumours are to be believed, it's going to be 'rockier' than their previous pure-pop direction. We don't mean to be presumptuous, but we're guessing that guitar-toting members Una and Mollie had something to do with this decision, but you never know, maybe 'rock' is making a comeback?!?!? (!!!) Anyway, it seems almost unbelievable, looking back to this time last year, that we would still be writing about the Saturdays, let alone the lead single from their second album... We'll be the first to admit that those ladies (up there) are NOT reshaping the landscape of popular music, fashion, art or feminism, but with pop songs that good, you can't complain? Or can you?

Almost a year later...

... and The Saturdays artwork is still about 10 hundred times classier, cooler, sexier and more brilliant than any artwork Girls Aloud have released this 'era'.

An inexpensive-looking Saturdays video...

The more we're exposed to the Saturdays, the more we start to realise that, as much as this might seem blasphemous to hard-core Girls Aloud fans, they seem poised to take over from GA as their split is imminent. I mean, they've got it all going for them, just like Gulls Alloyed did:

• Deliciously cheesey pop (with an edge) that will (hopefully) improve with time
• 5 ridic hot girls with distinct looks/personalities (although not as distinct as Les Girls Spice) who, although seem a bit stylistically awkward now, will almost definitely blossom into classy and fashionally functioning young ladies
• A seeming ability to launch any single into the Top Ten
• A large fanbase of gays/teenage girls/mums
• Really cheap videos
  

An gratifying Saturdays video...

To be honest... this is the Saturdays video we have ALL been waiting for.

Amazing things this video contains that we all love:

Marching band hats/canes (twirlers???), stockings, suspenders, silk nightgowns, spastic shoulder dancing, calendars, puppets, bouffants, sashes, ribbons, megaphones, corsets, vintage telephones, frilly pants, fans, pom poms, silly little dogs, scales, mirrors, miniature violins, rollers skates, hoovers, dish scrubbers, dusters, telescopes, trumpets, sailor outfits, nail files, leopard print throws, aprons, a sugar shaker, gloves, suitcases, headphones, hammers, life jackets, watering cans, cowboy hats, mallets, riding goggles, xylophones, sewing, eukeleles, spanners, washing lines, washing baskets, badly synchronised choreography, fishing lines, smelly shoes, petrol pumps, drinks flasks, amazing shoes, typewriters, popcorn, ice creams, bicycles, bonnets, buckets, cupcakes, policemen hats, tennis rackets, golf clubs, post boxes, sombreros, girls flashing bums gratuitously...

(N.B. not all of these things are actually amazing.)

Stuck In Our Head: "Why Me, Why Now" - The Saturdays

After a brilliant run of singles (although their third release wouldn't have been my first choice), the Saturdays have shown their competency for performing fiercely defiant pop anthems and undeniably catchy ballads in equal ratio, and while today's Stuck In Our Head isn't set to be a single, it, along with 90% of their debut eponymous LP is more than worthy of single material. "Why Me, Why Now" may be a slightly pitiful plea for attention from a mysterious bad bad boyfriend, it can proudly parade it's verses, chorus and the almighty powerful pop bridge as some of the Naughty 00's finest.

Is it too early to say the Saturdays, if they stick with excellent songwriters and producers, could truly rival Girls Aloud in longevity and popularity? If it is, we don't care, we think so anyway!

A pleasant Saturdays video...

In all the X Factor hullabaloo and pre-Christmas fever, we sort of forgot to mention this. Anyway here it is. It's the video for The Saturdays' third single, "Issues (it should have been "Keep Her", "Lies" or "Work", not this dribble).

The song is ok, in a sort of not-offensive-to-the-ears way, but there are MUCH better songs on the album, and the lyrics are a bit worrying ("Don't know if I should slap you or kiss you" sounds disturbingly like "Don't know if I should stab you or kiss you" although apparently they've changed "slap" to "leave" for the single).

Anyway it's nice to see the girls wearing something other than block colours and Frankie does look quite fit in it. Also the amazing Filipino (Philipino?) one sings most of the song and her voice is amazing.

We like how the Saturdays look quite posh and proper but if you watch them in interviews they're sort of a bunch of 'chavs' (ALLEGEDLY!).

As you were.

Well done the Saturdays...

You have got the second best girl band album cover of the year so far...

The hierarchy goes like this at the moment:

1) Monrose - amazing

2) The Saturdays - quite good

3) Danity Kane - alright

4) Pussyflap Trolls - underwhelming

5) Sugababes - atrocious

GIRLS ALOUD... the ball is in your court.

(And yes we know it's all gone a bit GIRL BAND KERAZY here at Shiny & New recently but we don't care).