In 29 moves, the Queen will topple the King.

In case you've just returned from a Virgin Galactic flight to Mars and haven't had a chance to look at a tabloid/broadsheet/anybloginthentireword, I guess it's my job to inform you that QOFE and her boring husband have announced their divorce. For good. :(

You know what? I could write so much about how brilliant it is Madonna is single again after nine years, and can go and be slutty Madonna like the one we all fell in love with, again. I could write about how Guy had it coming, because M is so amazing and fabulous and deserves to live the rest of her life licking Sandra Bernhard's clammy pussy.

But honestly now; the situation is genuinely quite sad.

If there's something everyone agrees on with Madonna, it's the fact that she is master of image control. Many argue it is a virtue that has gotten her so far in her career. Whether this is true or not, the fact remains that since her debut in 1982, the woman has been in/tried to be in complete control of her public image, and how people percieve her - she is quite aware that opinions do matter, whether they are her yaysayers or naysayers. But it is human nature to feel emotion - something Madonna is intent on not showing in this situation. Probably the safest route for her to go down, but it genuinely touches me that this woman feels the need to book an entire floor of a Boston hotel and throw a party the night after announcing her divorce so the world thinks she DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT.

Maybe that is the case. Maybe Madonna's relationship with Guy ended a long tine ago. It's probably true, but is that not going a bit too far? I actually find myself.. dare I say it... feeling sympathy for Guy. M is ferocious - and for once not in the fierce homo sense - and as a vengeful female, I believe she will have some nasty things to say about her ex in the coming weeks/months/years. Whereas somehow I can see Guy keeping schtum. And that is something I hold in disregard; if Guy can stay civil about the whole thing, why can't Madonna?

There is no one I idolise more then Madonna. Okay, my boyfriend is probably on an equal level with her, but she is genuinely my idol. When she acts in a way that disagrees with me, it confuses me. I don't really know where I'm going with this post, I apologise for going off track.

What I'm trying to get to is;

• Madonna should not feel the need to put on a show about her relationship to the world and press. Everybody knows divorce is horrible and awful no matter how long ago the actual relationship itself ended. Especially when children are involved. So get a fucking grip Madonna, and don't pretend you couldn't care less.
• I actually feel sorry for Guy Ritchie. :|
• Scratch that. I feel sorry for Rocco.
  
• Scratch that. I'm surprised because I thought I'd prefer Madonna as a single woman, free to return to her past ways of passionate love affairs, steamy lyrics, and to paint the town red with lesbians on her lesbian arms. But I don't. I really don't.

I'm sorry.
No hilarious bitchiness or witty homo insults today.
I don't really know what else to say.