S&N

Showing posts with label Girls Aloud. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Girls Aloud. Show all posts

21.10.12

Ooh... err... um... yes!

Girls Aloud are back back back back back and here is all you need to know. We mean, we're late on this, so you probably already know it, but we'll tell you anyway.

Above is their new video. It's ok. Some bits are cool, but mostly it's like a very fancy lyric video. Too much writing comin' atcha (Cleopatra). It'll doo though. The song is a bit of a mess. An exciting mess. But a mess. So the video sort of fits. That's a compliment, believe it or not.

With news of a new single and video comes news of a new tour and a new greatest hits album: Ten. The cover art looks like this (below) and it's exciting because they've FINALLY GOTTEN IT RIGHT after some of the worst album covers of all time:

Glorious. Classy. Sexy. Cool. Everything a girl band album cover should be. Of course there's a tracklisting too. You can (or at least you could at some point) vote for b-sides or fan favourites to be on the deluxe second disk, but this is the main cd:

  1. "Something New"
  2. "The Promise"
  3. "The Loving Kind"
  4. "Untouchable"
  5. "Sexy! No No No..."
  6. "Call The Shots"
  7. "Can't Speak French"
  8. "Something Kinda Ooooh!"
  9. "Biology"
  10. "The Show"
  11. "Love Machine"
  12. "I'll Stand By You"
  13. "Jump"
  14. "No Good Advice"
  15. "Sound of the Underground"
  16. "On The Metro"
  17. "Beautiful 'Cause You Love Me"
  18. "Every Now and Then"
Eagle-eyed observers will notice that there are three other new songs, alongside lead single, "Something New". Well come on let's have an album art progression just because. Here goes:


17.10.12

Oh!

A few days ago, the above teaser appeared online: we quietly wet ourselves with excitement, and then quietly went to the toilet to clean ourselves up. Ahem. Sorry. TMI!

Then the day before yesterday (or at some point in the past) they released the full track on the internet. Lots of people have complained that (and we haven't had a list in a while, so here it comes):

  • it's too noisy
  • it's a load of noise
  • it's a mess
  • it's ear-hurty
  • it's generic
  • it sounds like The Saturdays
  • it sounds like The Pussycat Dolls
  • it's annoying
  • it's not as good as their older stuff
Controversially, we disagree. It sounds like "Something Kinda Ooooh!" and "Sexy! No No No..." (excellent song title punctuation, btw, guys, still tickles us) had a rebellious bastard child. It probs doesn't have much longevity, listen-wise. We can't imagine popping this on in a year's time and going "oooh this is lovely, I'll just leave it on loop in the background whilst I do the washing up". But it'll be fun to dance to down the discotheque, it's got enough hooks, sass, melody and production quirks to keep us happy for a fortnight. What more could you ask for?

Anyway what do you think?

9.10.12

Ooooh... Intrigue!

If you go down to the woods today, you'll find that clicking on a link to the Girls Aloud website opens this countdown.

Presumably they're reforming to celebrate past glories seeing as it's 10 years since they burst onto 'the scene'.

We're legitimately excited.

8.8.09

Your Career (In Artwork): Girl Groups

We appear to be having girl group fever at the moment... well, we're not. It's just a coincidence. We promise. I guess maybe you can see this artwork-orientated post as being in honour of the fact that Sky1 are showing the Girls Aloud tour in glittering HD or something. Anyway, let's get on with the postulating, shall we?

Let's start with Destiny's Child... 3 line-ups, countless hits, and some pretty unexceptional artwork. We suppose the covers for Survivor and Destiny Fulfilled are borderline iconic, but they don't immediately catch the eye. It could be worse, but the bland colouring, horrendous styling, and lack of a powerhouse logo leave the whole thing tasting distinctly of 'meh'. Disappointing when you consider how fantastic and varied the Child's back catalogue is.

On we move to Girls Aloud, who, until their recent break were our favourite working girlband working today in the working industry. Their music is some of the oddest, most experimental and progressive in the history of girl group music... songs with about 7 different choruses, all so catchy there's basically no verse, minute long introductions, impromptu tempo halvings, cheerleader chants for bridges, choral intros and samples, and a marriage to a production house so intent on throwing (as Alexis Petridis so wisely put it) "wildly disparate musical styles" together that you literally never know what you're going to get. Ibiza house? Clumsy guitar-driven funk? Cheesey euro pop? All mixed together?! Anyway, this would suggest some truly great artwork to go with some truly great music. But, no. Girls Aloud's artwork hints at something a hell of a lot cheesier and cheaper than the truth. It's never quite been right, even during the Tangled Up era, which produced some beautiful single artwork. The covers are certainly memorable, though, just perhaps not for the right reasons.

Onto the Spice Girls, the most ubiquitous and successful girl group ever. Unlike Girls Aloud, the Girls of Spice's music has never held pretensions of critical acclaim, but has instead been content to ride a glorious wave of unbeatably brilliant commercial pop. And considering this, it befits us to declare their artwork satisfyingly consistent, fantastically suited to their style of music and spectacularly iconic, considering its simplicity. Fabby.

Sugababes back catalogue contains some consistently spectacular pop, with the odd dud, so you'd expect their artwork to follow a similar patter, and you'd be right. There's something incredibly satisfying about seeing the following six album covers all lined up and next to each other. The bold print 'SUGABABES' grabs you immediately, and for the most part, the photography and styling seems effortless and cool. Off-kilter, memorable and cohesive, it ties their varied musical forays and multiple line-ups together perfectly.

Last, but not least we come to TLC. We'd be lying if we said we knew a lot about TLC's music, because we don't, but we'are aware that it's often wacky, soulful, inventive, colourful and alternately menacholic and perky, just like their dated but still fabulous artwork. Brillo pads.

And that's your lot.

28.4.09

Look how far they've come...

Can you believe this stunning, doll-like vision of beauty is the same awkward, over-tanned ginger girl from Runcorn who thought peddle pushers were the height of fashion?

Can you believe this voluptuous, smouldering vision of sex appeal is the same nervous, eyebrowless girl who nearly didn't make it into the band?

Can you believe this woman, a woman with a face so perfect and pretty it has made her a National Treasure, is the same girl who had corn rows and tight ponytails and brought new meaning to the word chavtastico?

Can you believe this leggy, Irish candle mogul and jetsetting LA-dwelling restaurant owner was once told by Geri Halliwell that she couldn't dance?

Can you believe this beautiful blonde, motor-mouthed blow-up-doll is the same girl who cried when she got the dance moves wrong, and butchered the 'art of singing' on ITV beyond all form of recognition, winning votes soley for being 'feisty' and 'full of personality' and extremely attractive despite complete tone-deafness and chronic verbal diarrhoea?

Ok maybe that last one is plausible.

26.4.09

Tonight we're going on a Shiny & New field trip... (our second in as many days)

Last night we saw Ciara at Heaven (ghettofabulous despite lack of memorable songs) and nearly DIED in the crush to get out (we wish we were exaggerating... being squished between fat gays is never fun).

Tonight we're off to see Nicola & Co. at the O2. We'll report back on Nadine's fabulous singing and erratic dance moves, Cheryl's angel face and odd tuning, Nicola's general BEAUTY and 'sexy dancing', Kimberly's strange pouts and beautiful curves and Sarah's 'sunny disposition', legendary banter and awful hair.

24.4.09

We can all RELAX

"The Show" is in the Out of Control Tour setlist!

Well done girls!

Are you a psycho?

If you answered yes to the question above: carry on reading.

Girls Aloud's 'camp' have just announced that from tomorrow (we think) you can spend £50 on a very special 'Mini Flight Case'. But what is inSIDE?, I hear you ask! Well... let me tell you. For your dosh you get:
  • 150 tracks! (Have Girls Aloud even recorded this many songs?)
  • 13 hours of music! (How does 150 tracks work out at only 13 hours?!?)
  • 16 videos! (They've made more than 16 videos!)
  • 8 games! (Jesus! The Sims: Girls Aloud Extension Pack?)
  • Exclusive rarities bonus disc! (i.e. some B-Sides we forget about)
  • Original single artwork! (It's all horrible)
  • Original tracklistings! (Erm... wow! So enticing!)
  • 64 page booklet featuring the story behind the music (So... you just copied out 'Dreams That Glitter: Our Story' into a booklet?)
So basically you pay 50 quid to get lots of things you probably don't want. Unless you're a loony Girls Aloud fan, in which case you probably already own them all (in which case why would you buy them all again?). Meaning you are essentially paying 50 quid for a little silver case that's barely big enough to fit your passport and a spare tampon in. Note to Girls Aloud: these sorts of things only really work if they come in a truly GORGEOUS package and/or if they feature LOTS of previously unreleased stuff that you just cannot get anywhere else.

We love you, 'G to the A', but really!

16.4.09

Another artwork fiasco... this time: Girls Aloud

Despite being one of their best periods musically, the artwork for this Girls Aloud era has been, almost single-handedly some of the worst artwork for any artist ever in the history of artwork. Aside from an increasingly irrelevant and cheap-looking set of photos, the worst aspect is and was the strange squished font, the likes of which even a blind and tasteless 14 year old Microsoft Paint user would be hard pushed to create.

And so it continues... yet again we have conflicting artworks for their new single, "Untouchable". Their official myspace claims this is the artwork:

And Wikipedia (which, let's be honest, is almost never right about these things) claims that THIS it the artwork:

We can't decide which is worse nor can we decide which will look worse/better on iTunes. We are confused and upset.

26.3.09

A futuristic Girls Aloud video...

After 2 minutes of increasingly tedious shots of Girls Aloud looking pretty in space balls, the video for "Untouchable" all kicks off with some fire and brimstone. Quite good, we think you'll agree.

25.3.09

Apocalyptic Aloud

If this doesn't get you extremely excited about the new Girls Aloud video (which from the looks of things is going to be a big, expensive apocalyptic epic, set in a dystopian future, then we don't know what will...

Oh wait. This:
Pictures from The Sun. Don't sue us, we make no money from this anyway...

15.3.09

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START?!?

WHY ON EARTH DID TORVILLE AND DEAN FEEL THE NEED TO PISSFLAPS ALL OVER THE PERFORMANCE?

Hilarious when they span into the air. We hoped they wouldn't come back down again.

14.3.09

Like vocodered robots, dancing alone...

The single edit of "Untouchable", the third single from Girls Aloud's Out of Control leaked today. This is a massive story because the album version is an epic monstrosity of a pop song reaching nearly seven minutes in length. The single edit is nearly three and a half. MASSIVE, MASSIVE NEWS.

Anyway, Girls Aloud fantatix can breath at a normal pace again because it's rly rly good. They managed to cram the best bits of the opus into a radio friendly edit, making it more listenable to the average music 'fan'. However, the person who decided to bring Steven Hawking on board, should be court-marshalled or take early retirement.

Above all of this, the most important news of all time is that THEY ARE SINGING (COUGH) THE ENTIRE SONG TOMORROW NIGHT ON DANCING ON ICE. THIS IS BRILLIANT NEWS.

Good night.

7.1.09

Several weeks, but finally we bring you

We know, we know. It was meant to come all the way back in early December, but due to us having far too much fun or better things to do, like working on getting rid of all those pesky hangnails, it's being delivered just under a month late. Doesn't make it any less amazing. You may have gathered Shiny & New is predominately authored by two main (and mayjah) hemes (homos in Polynesian), with one massive lesbian occasionally flitting in to inflict scorn on everything anti-kd lang and various other sluts and wannabees writing now and then. The two mayjah hemes took it upon themselves to compile this list, in their opinion, the ten best* albums released between January 1st and December 31st of 2008. You will find the favourite album of each writer and their explanation, along with the eight runner ups, SCROLL DOWN NOWWW.
*Best, in this sense of the word, being defined as anything sufficiently amazing, fierce, fabulous, 'on it', hilarious, spine-chilling, etc.

Adele – 19
Layers upon layers of lush strings, enchanting xylophones and shiver-inducing bass fail to mask the magnificent sound bursting from this born-and-bred-and-yes-genuinely-common-as-muck Londoner’s lungs. Her debut features heart-breaking paeans to lost love alongside breath-taking soul orchestrations, showing a wide range of musical capabilities concealed by a mistakenly brought about “new Amy Winehouse” facade.

Camille – Music Hole
The French Bjork done good with a thigh-slapping, knees-up, non-stop whirldwind tour through her sprawling imagination. Perfectly formed little acappella vignettes depicting everything from wild ducks, to tea parties, to vocal Divas, monks and waves this was a unique album of assured genius.
Girls Aloud – Out of Control
Continuing their practise of improving their craft with each new album, the Girls returned with perhaps their most consistently brilliant album yet, exhibiting epics crawling with early 80s disco synths, Motown-referencing calls to the dancefloor and a surprising jig featuring an ex-member of the Smiths on mouthorgan defying the listener to stay still.

Joan As Police Woman – To Survive
Similar to Feist in her skill of making ordinary musical instruments and hushed vocals sound extraordinary, Joan Wasser crafted an album of astounding beauty and mastery. Blending unconventional structures with almost classical sounding musical turns, this was a triumph.

Lady GaGa – The Fame
This was the sound of a thousand synthesizers exploding musical cum all over the world. Many hailed a successor to Madonna’s throne. We think they might finally be right. A club brat from New York turned disco dance diva, this was an album packed full of spooky, otherworldy super smash megahits. All attempts to keep from dancing to this ended in failure.

Ladyhawke – Ladyhawke
Lauded as “Cyndi Lauper for the American Apparel age”, Ladyhawke continues the trend of referencing (and down-right stealing) 80s alternative pop motifs and splatters them all over her menacing, neurotic lyrics. We particularly love the merciless destruction she plans to unleash upon the next male she happens to be scorned by.

Lykke Li – Youth Novels
Not the new Robyn, but the antithesis to her. Shy, awkward and self-conscious, this was more than just a polite alt-pop opus. It was the sound of Nordic pop colliding with trumpets, handclaps, piano, saxophones and a heap of musical promise.

Santigold – Santogold
Insultingly so, Santigold’s reputation has yet to stretch further then “the new M.I.A.”. Her musical boundaries happen to stretch much further than our favourite Bangladeshi child-bearing self-publicist, with no less than eight stark genres woven together in amongst the masterpieces that lay in wait on her eponymous debut. This girl knows her shit – and don’t you dare tell her she’s an R’n’B artist on the basis of her skin colour.

Madonna – Hard Candy
Madonna’s most recent incarnation sees her as the confectionary-toting dominatrix of 2008, a nod to her Miss Dita persona of the early 90s Erotica era, but with lollipops ñ made from sugar. Reviewers, fans, record executives alike ñ even Madonna herself ñ were quite aware 2005’s Confessions on a Dancefloor would be a tough act to follow, and while I don’t think anyone would say Hard Candy topped Confessions, I’m sure I’d have some support in stating it gave it a good shot. Attitude’s brief review stated it in a satisfyingly succinct manner; ‘A brilliant pop album, but Madonna can do better.’

Opener ‘Candy Shop’ attempts to set the tone for the rest of the album, however the thinly-veiled call to eat Madonna’s vagina is quite separate from the lush synths and layers of the electro-guitar lament ‘Miles Away’, the Nile Rodgers nod from the menacing ‘She’s Not Me’ and the irresistible ‘Beat Goes On’, complete with token rap from well known African American rap artist.

It may encroach on flawlessness, but debut single ‘4 Minutes’ is really the only track which puts Timbaland’s tricks of the trade to noticeable use, while the follow-up ‘Give It 2 Me’ stands with La Stefani’s second album in the Hall of Pharrell’s Not So Amazing Work. However, Hard Candy definitely does show promise. While an anomaly in Madonna’s track run of working with 'unknown’ producers, her personal stamp on the album is clearly recognisable amidst the fog of Justin Timberlake’s irritating backing vocals and Danja’s repetitive synths.

The glorious ‘Devil Wouldn’t Recognise You’ demonstrates the entrancing song-writing talents of Madonna’s folk singer brother-in-law Joe Henry (see ‘Don’t Tell Me’ and ‘Push’), while album closer ‘Voices’ provides the listener with a spine-tingling climax to a mixed bag of tricks. For every dull ‘Spanish Lesson’ there is a captivating ‘Heartbeat’. The listener cannot help but wonder whether it would have been in the better interests of the album’s quality if Madonna was not so blatently intent on making a mark on the American charts; either way, it cannot be denied that Hard Candy is a pleasurable dessert to end the Queen of Pop’s reign at Warner Bros.

Erykah Badu – New Amerykah Part One (4th World War)
Erykah Badu has been enchanting listeners as the ‘First Lady of Neo Soul’ since her first album, Baduizm, was released in 1997 but until this, her fourth studio album, she hadn’t taken such a risk, artistically. Her first three albums, whilst solid and beautifully crafted works, serve more as patchworks of interweaving thoughts, drifting amongst slowly shifting grooves, beats and Erykah’s distinctive voice, as opposed to being fully formed and cohesive collections of songs, like New Amerykah Part One.

Quite what prompted her to make such a change in direction, from being content to essentially go with the flow musically, to make an album like this, of such stark, unusual and controversial beauty, one can only imagine, but whatever it was, it can only be good.

Opening with Amerykahn Promise on which Erykah appears to be welcoming immigrants to the US of A and explaining the skewed principles of the ‘promised’ land upon which they have arrived with biting irony, she makes her mission clear. This is not just an album of existentialist breakup songs, or hazy grass-fuelled musings on life. This time, it’s political. And despite the potentially disastrous results of that, it turns out fantastically well.

This year Solange Knowles declared that she’d like to be “the black Björk”. Unfortunately for her, though, Erykah Badu comes much, much closer. Working with a kind of feverish musical genius and finding that magical balance between being a true sonic innovator and making gorgeous and life-affirming music, Erykah turns out the most artistically adept album of the year.
Whether it’s on The Healer on which she declares, over spooky and achingly slow swells of darkly rhythmic chimes and bells that hip hop is “bigger than the government”, or on Me in which she sing-songs a potted version of her childhood accompanied by a slow, rubato trumpet, there is plenty to savour here.

And Erykah makes her strange political reflections manifest without beating you round the head with them. On Twinkle, the track breaks down half way through giving way to genuinely eerie African chanting and a sample of Peter Toole’s infamous society-bashing monologue from Oscar-winning movie Network (also used to frightening effect in cult internet conspiracy-theory movie Zeitgeist). From images of drug dependency to addressing Hurrican Katrina or black-on-black crime, Erykah expertly melds musical innovation with lyrics of substance and importance – a rare and wonderful skill.

The album closes with Telephone, a seven minutes tribute to J Dilla, a neo soul music producer and close friend of Badu’s, and provides the listener with material much closer to her previous work: personal, ambling, gorgeous in its relative simplicity. One hopes that soon she feels comfortable enough to return to that ground. But in the mean time, her scathing yet subtly and brutally beautiful attack on the so-called “American Dream” is so captivating and inventive, we can only hope the second installment lives up to the first one’s artistic merits

22.12.08

Our Singles of the Year




Madonna – "4 Minutes"
Say what you will about the Queen of Pop, but when those barnstorming horns came clattering in you just HAD to dance.

Girls Aloud – "The Promise"
Not actually necessarily the best Girls Aloud comeback song ever, but they did retro, and they actually did it differently and without sampling a Boots ad.

Lady GaGa – "Just Dance"
This was like Into The Groove for a new generation. Bringing together Indie kids and pop aficionados alike, undoubtedly the dance record of the year.

Goldfrapp – "A&E"
Unspeakably gorgeous and rather odd. Saved the whole Seventh Tree business from being completely forgettable.

P!nk – "So What"
Not anywhere near as artistically fulfilling as the rest of the album, but an undeniably brilliant slice of pop-punk goodness and awesome breakup song.

Ladyhawke – "Back of the Van"
Those aching synths and Ms. Hawke’s own wistful vocals made this bittersweet little song one of the best underdog singles of the year.

Britney Spears – "Womanizer"
Yet again… it was a good year for amazing intros. The swizzling synths punctuated by those snare tumbles made up for the disappointment of Circus.

Solange – "I Decided (Part II)"
Not just a single of the year but probably the remix of the year too. The Freemasons managed to masterfully turn Motown funk into a veritable pop stomper of a song.

Jordin Sparks – "No Air"
An odd R&B ballad. Soaring, emotional and bizarrely structured. This wasn’t your conventional pop duet, but it was so good it was a hit anyway.

Katy Perry – "I Kissed A Girl"
Awful yet ubiquitous. No “singles of the year” list would be complete without it. It was predictable, a cheap shot and yet oddly irresistible.