QOFE might be going down!

Yes, dear readers, your eyes are not deceiving you! Our QOFE (Queen of Fucking Everything - Madonna Louisiana Veronica Electronica Chick-coney, of course) might be late to her third Madison Square Garden concert at the end of the week, due to the small disturbance to her tight-isn't-the-word schedule of her BEING DOWN THE PRECINCT WITH THE BOYS!

Brb, I need to go and crack my thigh.

Oooh, painful but so satisfying! Anyway. MADONNA'S GOING TO PRISON! As positively exciting the thought of adorning my MySpace with a big dirty mugshot of pop's tranniest non-tranny is, I don't think Madge deserves being raped by some crusty old whore decorated with AIDS, chlymidia (sp?), genital warts and George Michael's dried semen. New York's finest, eh.

SO YOU STILL DON'T KNOW WHY MADONNA COULD BE BANGED UP? Watch this.



Aside from the variety of LOLs in that video, Madonna clearly states she would like to kick the rear abdomen of Sarah "I eat Russians for breakfast, bitch - oh wait, I haven't got a passport yet! Whoops!" Palin. A declaration many of us make on a regular occasion, non? Well actually, Madonna committed a federal offence by publicly (or privately, actually, that's a crime as well appaz) threatening and/or intimidating someone who is running for a federal office. Oh well. I'd quite like to see that mugshot anyway... Can you imagine it? Most people would say she had carefully calculated the entire event in order to be arrested, and get even more publicity. I wouldn't put it past her. I would like to see a showdown between the world's coldest, vilest, tranniest bitch and Alaska's coldest, vilest, tranniest bitch though!

In other news, Madge tied up the European leg of her Sticky and Sweet Tour a fortnight ago (which I can tell you from FIRST HAND experience that it was fucking magic) and last weekend began her mammoth North American leg. Aside from my jealousy that da Amerikan gaiz get to see our QOFE in an arena setting, apparently Madge's vocals have improved dramatically since finishing Europe. Not that anyone goes to her concert to see her sing. Already we've had live renditions of fan favourites "Open Your Heart", "Lucky Star" and erm... "I Love New York" - she better do "Justify My Love" next or I'll be filing a complaint with the NYPD myself.

(if you must know, the only reason I decided to write this post was because I noticed Girls Aloud's tag count was dangerously close to Madonna's. DESPICABLE.)