'Jzuh tah door'

Once upon a time our venerable Brighton-dwelling auntie told us a terrible joke that goes something like this:

A British woman and a French man are embarking on a wondrous love affair. In fact it's going so well that the French man decides he's going to confess his love to his Britannic girlfriend by exclaiming to her "Je t'adore! Je t'adore!". His British girlfiend, being completely un-fluent in the Gallic tongue replies "Shut the door yourself!"

Keep that in mind whilst listening to Ms. Meester's debut single up thurrr. It'll come in handy right around the bridge (or 'middle 8', depending on who you're talking to). If you want our glossy and priceless opinion on the song itself, all we'll say is this: Yes, it's catchy, but Leighton sounds like she's drifting off to sleep in the recording booth and then passing into a coma for the choruses. Come on, love. It's only your recording career! You could at least wake up for the 'laying down of the track' bit.

Unless she's got narcolepsy in which case it is NOT A LAUGHING MATTER and we are SORRY to all involved.