Mimi's New Kotex Advert...

We know this is utterly dreadful but it's just SO fascinating and wonderful to us. Maybe it's our addiction to the cringe, but the above video speaks volumes of fabulousness to Shiny & New writers everywhere. Where. To. Begin.

First off Mariah's acrylic wig, in this 'vid', is a beautiful creature in its own RIGHT. It has a life of its own. Every different shot of her features a hot new styling that is just in a league of its own in terms of 'hairstyles'. We can't even believe we just called those magical masterworks simple 'hairstyles'. They are acts of genius and God.

Secondly Nicki Minaj's accent is a rare exotic rose in the garden of accents. WHAT IS IT? When she spits the words "L-O-L, smiley face, have a nice day" she sounds half-Australian, half-cockney. She pronounces 'nice' as 'NOICE-UH' and the 'pent' of 'penthouse' as "PEINT". We're not taking the piss here, it is a genuinely ravishing set of pronunciations and we heart it.