The Nicki Minaj Saga: Eclipse.

Don't bother sitting through all of this. Anthony Mandler, responsible for most of Rihanna's videos since "Disturbia", has created a needlessly long, visually repetitive video for a half-assed, but catchy, song that mixes metaphors and can't decide if it's about getting sloshed, doing women up the bottom, or both.

No, instead skip forward to Nicki Minaj's feature verse (although it's about the length of 5 - yay!) at roughly 2m38s. Nicki, who has now done so many 'features' - lots of them boosting the originality and popularity of otherwise lacklustre songs - she's probably saved up enough money to buy a small island in Dubai, yet again eclipses the singer whose song she's guesting on by doing the opposite of 'phoning it in'. The way she say s "Trey... Trey... can you buy me a bottle of rosé", half-mocking, half-emulating the way drunk girls turn needlessly breathless and dumb when in the presence of a semi-powerful male, is both funny and brilliant, especially contrasted with the way she suddenly snaps back to her usual empowered drawl, belting out "REST IN PEACE TO ANNA NICOLE SMITH" as if it makes the most sense in the world.

Brilliant. Now if only she'd hurry up with her solo work, which is taking so long to ready, we're beginning to think it doesn't exist :(