*Expresses disappointment*

It's been a shit week for music videos. Nicki Minaj decided to go with a wigless Days of Our Lives saga that had all the visual flair of a used sheet of Colour Catcher (but without the RED DRESS) and then got sidelined by will.i.am's obnoxiously inane irrelevance and poor choice of sunglasses (yeah, you heard us).

Even Robyn seems preoccupied; she seems to have spent most of the 'Indestructible' video shoot on a golfing holiday/ suffering from an obscure viral illness/ just being generally grumpy, because it sure ain't her best work.In fact, she's hardly in it at all. Instead the video is dominated by slurpy foreplay and a weird beer-hat-straw-corset thing that's trying to insidiously take over the world/ eat people like some weird sartorial version of War of the Worlds... or something.

Things lacking:

• Gays
• Dancing
• More gays
• Some presiding sense of euphoria as detected in the melody/lyrics/production etc.etc.
• Cheeriness ( Robyn looks like she could do with a Prozac laced Oreo washed down with an ice cold Diet Coke.)
• Dancing
• Interesting things

Also, kittens. She is on tour, so having a good old (pointless) bitch is probs a tad unfair, but still. It has unsavoury visual echoes of "All the Lovers" - the musical equivalent of a swarm of helium addled gnats flying into a charged and deadly electrical forefield - and those deliberately slightly icky STI awareness ads where people have sex in alleyways with the names of genital infections embroidered on their pants. The only vaguely interesting bit is when the beer-straw-hat-corset-alienwormform-thing is pumped full of variously Vimto/Listerine/Limeade/Liquid Death and even then, judging from Robyn's look of discomfort, it just reminds us of a renegade catheter (sorry).

I suppose if you wanted to extend the mingy catheter metaphor (if it even is one) you could go on to say that it's all a tad sterile, uninspired and clinical (despite the intercut smooching). Robyn is either lying down on what looks like a hospital bed or in a corner looking uncomfortably immobile like she's attached to a drip/ playing a disapproving therapist analysing someone's anti-social behaviour.

Maybe with such a hospital reminiscent theme she did have a viral bug after all.