You Better Have Some Cake.

'BOOM!' The follow up to Alexis Jordan's first (utterly glorious) single has arrived and it is quite to very good on the Goodness Barometer, of Goodometer, if you will. Accompanied by a video that has all the subtlety and sophistication of a GCSE Drama Devised piece, screamingly obvious symbolism that keeps making my head translate the chorus of 'good, good girl' into 'virgin, virgin whore' - which is slightly worrying- it is not a deflatory, disappointing development (need to book self into Alliteration Rehab.) It is also not a ballad, which is a relief.

Reasons why this is good:

• Aforementioned (apocryphal) Marie Antoinette/Mini Viva style euphemism concerning cake, that also sounds like a vague threat.
• The decision to use either a very closely replicated but slightly altered version of the bass/ background chorus synth found on BEP's "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night" or the original, continuing the Jordan campaign's deft use of sampling and reappropriation (!!)
• The verses that seem to draw on the rather cocksure, arrogant sentiments found in Keri Hilson's "Pretty Girl Rock" and the musical throb of Jamelia's (masterpiece) "Something About You".
• The line 'Even though there's blood on the floor" that just sounds like some sort of tampon and clubbing related calamity, and like someone needs to grab a mop.
• Incorporation of geeky glasses, making her look like some adorable extra in Saved By The Bell.
• Her general stunningness, ginger hair, smile etc. etc. *gushes (verbally) until trousers fall off*
• The energetic Hopscotch/"Jig of Life" dance routine.

Things that get in the way of its goodness:

• Male dancer in ridiculous hat. Pointless and silly. Although the hat made me think of Jamelia (AGAIN) and her debut single in which the video budget only stretched to a Yankees baseball cap, but, even in its early Noughties skint-throwaway-pop-minimalism was amazing because the song was a much more pleasant, musical form of the Bubonic Plague (in that it was infectious, not that you only got it through rat contact or that it resulted in armpit boils, decay and widespread death). This then prompted the question (why should I be allowed to write ever jk jk lolorollol) as to whether Alexis Jordan is an American Jamelia, mainly due to her inclusion of hats, lack of video budget, amazing songs and Burger King Whopper voice.
• Lack of gays. Most things in life suffer from this deficiency. Also this. This would also improve the lesbianosity of her featured Harley.
• Some of the naff dresses which look like they're from the 'Pixie Lott for Lipsy' collection.
• The slightly awkward looking female dancer on the far right- our far right, not hers.

Very good.