Finalement!

Just when you finally get to watch four minutes of visual perfection and technicolour, kinky Rihanna related glory, Perez Hilton has to (literally - see 1:07) urinate over it (and not in a good way *lecherous-old-man-laugh-fnor-fnor-fnor*).

I'm too over-stimulated (ohh-er) to write an erudite, frame by frame commentary to accompany this, and, Tuh Buh Huh, I don't think it's really that necessary. If I was to go all Feminist Critic on it, and analyse the dynamics of domination and submission within sex and how well they can be transferred into a wider comment made on the issue of repressive, condemnatory social judgement, censure and subsequent oppression in relation to women (I don't think this is even English any more), I would probably go on to state that in this particular video there is a paucity of spank paddles and that Perez needs, not a gentle ticking off, but total eradication. (Mainly because he is one of the most ubiquitous, albeit inarticulate, sources of that conservative judgement around today - 'which is the whole point of the video, durbrain!!!' - and also one of the most influential, despite actively adopting the surname 'Hilton', *collective sad face*.)

Having him in this video is not a positive portrayal of Rihanna's ability to control or possess power, it is a concession made to an undermining, capricious and untalented media louse who will simply thrive on the attention without heeding the subtext. (Although there's not much subtext lying beneath being gagged and towed about on a leash like the fetid beast you really are - calm down, love.)

(Also, that Rihanna is too glorious to have to (provoca-fiercely111!! you go gurrll!!!) get rid of him with a saucy FLAMETHROWER COVERED IN KNIVES AND GRENADES (ooh, naughty!!), and is already far too busy anyway, as can be seen above, throwing shade to sanctimonious sorts and throwing debauched parlour-parties for the more salaciously minded.)

I now need to change my trousers. Good day.