That pony tail HAS to go

We cannot be fucked with awards ceremonies right now. This time of year is usually the period when they all seem to take place - do we see some correlation? The Oscars are next week, the BRITs are tonight, the BAFTAs were Sunday night... boring nominations, boring egos and boring self-applauding all around. However, with mind-numbingly dull winners comes hand in hand hot mess performances, red carpet dresses and the Grammys seem to consistently come out on top of Hottest & Messiest Music Awards Show Evah.

Because we know you want the facts and the facts fast, we've prepared a fabulous little list of the five finest moments of the 2011 Grammys...

5. Nicki Minaj's barnet

Would it be inaccurate of us to assume Mademoiselle Minaj has decided Lil' Kim isn't a suitable role model for her anyway, and Elsa Lanchester is more up her street. Well, Elsa and Mel B. Leopard Bride of Frankenstein fire.

4. Arcade Fire winning Best Album

It's not our favourite Arcade Fire album, but it's still fucking amazing and we're so proud of Canada's finest band for beating Justin Bieber. It seems not everyone feels the same though :(



3. "Born This Way"
It's a mess, it's terrible, it's brilliant, it's horrendous, it's fantastic, whatever. Naturally, people were disappointed by this very-basic-by-Gaga standard, although a world in which being wheeled on stage in a plastic egg and emerging from it wearing the yolk as a chapeau is considered basic is a tad scary, but we slightly appreciated the lack of gimmicks. It was straight up singing and dancing. Well, and she got wheeled on in an egg.


2. Ricky Martin introducing "Born This Way"
"You can love who you want!" Yeah! Why does it sound so much more since being echoed by a gay man?

1. Christina Aguilera's chin, bingo wings and vocal cords
All absolutely fabulous.

Roll on the BRITs!