4 to the floor

A couple of hours ago, we acquired a copy of Beyoncé's latest record, 4. Our varying opinions of Bey seem to settle around the acknowledgement of her incredible natural vocal and dance talent, along with the command she holds over audiences and knack she has for theatrics. However, we've also become aware of how conniving a businesswoman she can be, stealing far more than Urban Outfitters can ever claim to have pinched. Despite all pros and cons, her previous three albums have consistently grown in quality. All have been good records, but we believe her last one, I Am... Sasha Fierce was the finest example of what happens when excellent producers make magic for an excellent voice. Naturally, expectations are sky-high for one of the most formidable performers at the top of their game in 2011, yet upon several run-through listens of 4, we can't help but wonder whether her star is starting to wane.

We've discussed "Run the World (Girls)", so we'll leave that source of controversy from this piece. The album opens with "1+1", a slice of bland pie sodden with boring gravy, straight from the Destiny's Child Hall of Album Filler Fame. Why is this even on the album, let alone opening it? Next up is "I Care", which shows more of the promise we were informed of prior to the release; 80s drums, growling vocals, but absolutely shiteous lyrics. "I don't care / You don't care / But I care" or something like that. We know Bey doesn't write her own stuff, but that's why we expect good quality shit. Ffs.

Then it all seems to run into one. The Andre 3000 track is 'oh-kay'. The ballads are Destiny Fulfilled 2011. It's all just very disappointing; a mush of boring bore. We usually change our opinions of albums over time so we fully reserve our rights to alter this review but right now, we're gobsmacked at the level of blandness. What have you done, Bey?