Katy Perry wants your precious salty tears...

We didn't cry when we watched this, perhaps because there's a large sooty coal where our pumping heart should be, perhaps because we're not mawkish idiots who will literally (LITERALLY) allow themselves to be emotionally manipulated at will.

Katy does look stunning, however, in her Romy & Michele flashforward prosthetics. She puts us in mind of Winona Ryder at the start of Edward Ciseaux-mains when she does the croaky old lady under a rubbery senior citizen mask bit.

And yes, that is Diego Luna off-of Gets His Cock Out in Mexican Arthouse, Played a Gay in Milk, was in that film about that Cuban guy who invented cigars or communism or Pig Bays or something.