Shall we begin with the singles? We're not the first people to say this by any stretch but bad choices were made. "Give Me All Your Luvin'", while attached to one of the best videos she's done in years, should've remained a bonus track or album track at best, while "Girl Gone Wild" - again, amazing video - reeks of nausea-inducing chart pandering. What would we have picked? "I'm Addicted" has the potential to be a monster dance floor destroyer, with a hypnotic four-to-the-floor beat and spine-tingling vocals, while "Turn Up the Radio" was made to be blasted from a car sound system with windows rolled all the way down. They just feel more 'Madonna', y'know? We're hungover, please forgive the lack of trademark eloquence.
As far as production from Solveig is concerned, we're impressed with it overall. It's what we think she wanted - relevance without sounding too desperate. We've discussed our excitement for William Orbit's return before and again, we're pleased with the final result. "I'm a Sinner" is a direct throwback to "Beautiful Stranger" and "Amazing" while the darkness of "Gang Bang" is an exciting return to the Dita of "Thief of Hearts".
Lyrically, it's still a mixed bag. The joyful Solveig melodies are often eclipsed by cloying cliches and cringe inducing similes quite obviously penned by Ciccone herself, despite most tracks having been credited to an army of writers. "Superstar" sounds like it was written in the limo from her apartment to the studio, with a list of all the men she's ever fancied just… listed. "I'm a Sinner" takes a similar approach. On the surface, they're not much worse then anything else which is being pumped out as chart fodder but if MDNA was truly Madonna's attempt at putting out a classic pop album in the vein of True Blue and Like a Prayer, you only need to briefly examine the lyrical mastery of tracks like "Open Your Heart" and "Cherish" to wonder why she isn't bothered about hooking up with incredible song writers? We give credit where credit is due however; "I'm Addicted" features wonderfully evocative and cleverly arranged couplets while the album's crowning glory "Falling Free" showcases the spine-tingling effect a gloriously crafted Madonna ballad can have when she asks people like her brother-in-law Joe Henry for his lyrical expertise.
We've said it before and we will continue to until she gets her act together: she can enlist the greatest producers in the world - and we do stress we have very little complaint with this album's production - but without a masterful songwriter (we're looking at you Patrick Leonard) the output is soulless and hollow. It's a shame because we believe that with the right partner and muse, Madonna can write excellent lyrics. She just requires the right person to inspire and nudge her along.
So what does this all mean? Where does MDNA fit in the Queen of Pop's discography? It's still far too early to call - we're learning our lessons from proclaiming Hard Candy as a masterpiece on first listen - but we know in our hearts that it won't stand alongside her holy trinity (Like a Prayer, Ray of Light and Confessions). But then, what will? As Madonna fans, should we simply accept that she won't ever top Ray of Light? Should we be happy with what, for many popstars would be a wonderful and entirely satistifying album? We read a quote today which suggested that while Madonna's male counterparts (in age, at least) - Springsteen, Prince et al - continue to pump out material which simply fleshes out their rich musical tapestries, Madge works in the fickle world of pop wherein you're only as good as your last single. Now we all know Madonna doesn't strictly follow those rules, for good and for bad, but it's true.
At this crucial point in her career where age is being mentioned more than ever, her relevancy will not be based in recruiting rappers of the month or French producers with a few Radio 1 earworms under their belts - it will only ever be in producing music which drops jaws and exhibits why this woman is has remained a pop culture phenomenon for thirty years. There's some brilliant stuff on this album, and yes praise be to above it's far superior to Hard Candy, but it could've been better. Tracks like "I'm Addicted" show she still has the power to reign over the dancefloor, while "Falling Free" exemplifies her mastery of the enchanting ballad but it's just not all there. She's clearly not comfortable at all at this stage of her career - we'd even go as far as suggesting she's not even very confident - which is to be understood. Fingers crossed she reclaims some of that passion for album #13... if we ever get one.
Shiny and New: MDNA, track by track
1. “Girl Gone Wild” – 3/5
You know when you listen to a song and it’s not as great as you had hoped but it’s not terrible, either, so you keep listening, over and over, to see if maybe it’s actually a grower, not a shower, or maybe you’re just not hearing the brilliance, or maybe you can make it brilliant with repeated listen and then you start to like it but you’re not sure if you like it because it’s good or because you’ve forced yourself to because it CAN’T BE TERRIBLE.
2. “Gang Bang” – 4/5
Madonna may be fifty-something (no one seems to be able to agree on exactly what) but she’s still breaking taboos. Think of another 50+ lady in the public eye who would release a 5 minute long song called “Gang Bang” about shooting someone who you affectionately refer to as bitch? It’s as dark, audacious and exhilarating as it sounds with pulsating electro courtesy of The Demolition Crew and a Nancy Sinatra-style campy chorus.
3. “I’m Addicted” – 4.5/5
A glimmering and weird ode to sexual addiction, this song is so giddily good it makes one wonder how the Benassis can be responsible for such euphoric production considering they’re also the people behind the flat, tinny synths in “Girl Gone Wild”. The best bit of this is undeniably the bridge breakdown (it does actually sound like a breakdown) replete with robotic countdown M-D-N-A chants. The unusually cross-phrased lyrics are top-notch too.
4. “Turn Up The Radio” – 4/5
Madge in happy mode: lots of reviewers keep noting that this could be performed on Glee (is that a compliment? Sounds quite insulting to us). It’s sunny and breezy and effortless for sure and is the album’s only pure ray of light (TRY HARDER – puns ed.) in a mostly quite morose-in-tone piece of work. The way it transforms and unfolds from easygoing midtempo into dance freakout is lovely and the melody is persistently catchy.
5. “Give Me All Your Luvin’” – 2.5/5
Perhaps this score would be bumped up if this was simply an album track or even a 3rd or 4th single. But as lead single from Queen Margedonna this is horribly deflating and tainted with disappointment. M is known for her strange, bonkersly brilliant and often trendsetting first singles but this just doesn’t measure up to “Frozen”, “Music”, “American Life”, “Hung Up” or “4 Minutes” and as such leaves us heavy with resentment whenever we listen.
6. “Some Girls” – 3.5/5
Filler perhaps, but filler done exceedingly well. Semi-biting in its pseudo-satire it features The Queen intoning, her voice spookily altered to sound deep and enticing “Cash two if you wanna flirt / cash or credit it’s gonna hurt” like the evil matron/madame at the helm of a futuristic sex brothel. Or maybe that’s just us. This would make a STONKING dancers’ interlude on tour.
7. “Superstar” – 3/5
This should, considering its clunky lyrics, be terrible (she mentions James Dean and his fast car as a romantic asset... you know… the car he died in). You can faintly hear Lourdes cooing sweetly in the background though, and it’s got such a sickeningly catchy hook in spite of its cloying cringyness that you can’t help but like it in spite of it all.
8. “I Don’t Give A” – 4.5/5
A rapid-fire “American Life” style run-down of Madonna’s to do list forms the meat of this song, over a frenetic and jumpy guitar riff. As with a lot of M songs, though, the best thing about it is the surprises it has in store. Just when you think you can’t take much more, there’s a tender and raw bridge in which she reflects on her failed marriage followed by a stonking Nicki Minaj rap and then a completely incredible operatic orchestral freakout outro that comes out of nowhere.
9. “I’m a Sinner” – 3/5
Xenomania-style funky pop reminiscent of “Beautiful Stranger”, this is mostly catchy but frivolous fluff until we get to the bridge (this is an album of brilliant last portions). This time it’s a list of famous saints over jokingly hymnal chords that chugs back into the main thrust of the song in a totes satisfying and clever way over sassy horns (!).
10. “Love Spent” – 5/5
One of the albums two major masterpieces, with William Orbit at the helm, this opens with a blast of country banjo, descends into exciting if by-the-numbers Ray of Light-style pop freakery before revealing, again, seemingly out of nowhere, one of the greatest bridges of the 21st century (not even joking). A glittering, sun-down, tits-out, arms-aloft euphoric alterna-chorus that blasts out the cobwebs nestling elsewhere on the album and should have every single listener line dancing erotically and rubbing themselves with mournful glee.
11. “Masterpiece” – 4/5
It might not reinvent the balladry wheel, but as far as Madonna downtempos go, this is lovely and dignified and delicate, with a really beautiful vocal and some silly lyrics to jar pleasantly with the somehow frosty-and-warm-at-the-same-time production.
12. “Falling Free” – 5/5
The second of the album’s most mindblowing moments, this folky introspective number is one of the most mature, lush and sumptuous things Marge has done this side of the 90s. The imagery-laden lyrics, the softly baying synth strings, the distorted piano, the melody both distinctive, cutting, simple and unassuming. It’s totes brills and the kind of thing we DREAM of hearing from La Reina de Flop. Sorry, Pop. POP.
13. “Beautiful Killer” – 3.5/5
Why this wasn’t included on the main album we’ll never know. Effortless dark pop with lovely strings.
14. “I Fucked Up” – 3/5
This feels distinctly bonus track-y but in a good way. Again, effortless dark pop with lovely strings (do you sense a pattern?). Face palm at "We coulda got ourselves arrested and sold our mum".
15. “B-Day Song” – 1/5
We’re currently pretending this doesn’t exist.
16. “Best Friend” – 3/5
Again, bonus track-y but fine. Pleasant, well produced with nice lyrics and a good vocal with some rather… pointed lyrics (who COULD it be about????) * quizzical face *
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