A seminally gay Beyoncé album...

The Beyoncé Album (we are referring to it as this because 'I Am... Sasha Fierce' is an album title that, even in all it's drag queen glory, pains us to listen to, repeat, write down or say out loud) is officially the campest, silliest, cheesiest, funnest, gayest album in the history of music ever.

CD1 comprises of the kind of ballads that Leona would kill to sink her teeth into and would resuscitate Mariah's flagging career. They are empowering, they have awful lyrics, they are predictable, uplifting and full of the kind of vocal ornamentation that would have most opera singers raising eyebrows and whispering 'a little TOO florid'.

CD2 comprises of a variety of up-tempo numbers that have Miss Beyoncé putting on a kind of broad ghetto-gangstar accent so thick and incomprehensible that even 50 Cent (who practically DRIBBLES words out) would consider it a bit TOO much.

Beyoncé herself has never been more characterful. There is actually little to no difference between her 'true' incarnation and her alter ego, Sasha Fierce, because on both CDs she is so ridiculously over the top, sure of herself and determined to imbue every SYLLABLE, VOWEL AND CONSONANT WITH SO MUCH EMOTION (RAW OR OTHERWISE) AND TORTURED EFFORT THAT YOU CANNOT HELP BUT SIT UP AND LISTEN.

There is also, needless to mention, some world class production going on and even some good songwriting.

For decades to come people are going to measure an album's gayness against this holy, magnificent marvel...