Oh. Madonna. No. Yes. No. YES. NO.

Twas the Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual Costume Gala thingy last night... and here are some of the 'outfits' that were on display:

You know what? This isn't even THAT bad? The dress on its own would have been really, really, really cute and Madonna CLEARLY has the hot physique to carry it off where someone like Beyoncé might look like a babychild prostitute heffalump in it. The problem, clearly, is the horrendous (read: fabulous) set of accessories. Whilst the 80s scrunchie and fingerless gloves might have seemed like a hawt idea in a kind of 'I-invented-this-look-and-I-can-still-carry-it-off' sort of way... she actually can't carry it off anymore. Or rather, NO ONE CAN. As for the boots... they're kinda really sexy and we think they might work with the dress if she weren't wearing a turquoise taffeta pair of rabbit ears on her head and some hobo glovettes. But, y'know what?! Madonna wasn't even the worst dressed there by a LONG way.

Which brings us to the Olsenette twinzies.

Clearly they decided on a joint theme of 'A Christmas Carol' and both turned up as ghosts: Ashley arrived as the ghost of fashion crimes present, and Mary-Kate arrived as the ghost of fashion crimes PAST. Wanna know who came as the ghost of fashion crimes future?

Is this supposed to be some sort of futuristic body contouring optical illusion trickery shit, Ciara? Or did you just pick a HORRIBLE dress? Choose your answer wisely, CeeCee, you will be judged on it.

From then on in, things just get worse. See this horrific quartet of beige carps?

Have they fallen out with Madonna (and Gwyneth Paltrow)? Cuz those bitches used to hang together all the time. They're partially responsible for the BORIFICATION of Madge (it's in the Bible, the Book of Ciccone, Chapter 4, Verse 1 or Like A Virgin). Madonna was all hot to trot and the cutting edge of fashion and then she ended up hanging with these overcooked, bland, Primrose Hill yummy mummies and before you knew it she was married to Guy Ritchie, writing children's books and giving boring David Letterman interviews!

Also notice how any group of 4 women can have the Mean Girl/Heather personalities attached to them. Stella McCartney is Regina George/Heather Chandler. The ringleader. The Queen Bee. She rules these vegan yuppies with a iron (animal friendly) claw. Liv Tyler is the brunette so she plays second in command: the Gretch Weiners/Heather Duke. You can tell she resents Stella McCartney for turning up and having to share joint centre of the photo with her. Bitch will cut. Kate Hudson rounds off the holy 3 as the Karen Smith/Heather McNamara of the group. Dim, blonde, ditzy, probably the hottest one there. I can totally imagine Kate Hudson thinking she had the power to read the weather with her tits. Last and most definitely least is Kate Bosworth who is the Cady Heron/Veronica Sawyer of the group: i.e. she's the newest member. We haven't seen her hanging around this group before so she must be a new convert now that they've kicked Madonna and Gwyneth out (that lesbian and the gay from Mean Girls or Martha Dumptruck in Heathers).

ANYGAY... on to the rest of the 'costumes'. The hottest bitches there were without a doubt Rachel Weisz and Anne Hathaway. We mean... DAMN. Anne Hathaway is looking more and more like Jackie O every single time she steps out in public. Jackie O crossed with a 70s porn actress. And Rachel Weisz is rocking some horrible purple lipstick with her pink gown. Rachel Weisz could step out in a tin of baked beans and we'd still be singing her praises. She is HOT. At the Oscars a couples of years ago she was literally the ONLY well-dressed person. And we're not making that up, The Guardian agreed.

As for the rest of the costumes they are fairly snoozeworthy. Kate Moss wore gold. She continues to resemble a very strange man in a dress. Liz Hurley tried and failed to steal the show in a big pink number. Rihanna wore a strange suit thing with clumpy trousers. Victoria Beckham came in a silly polkadot showgirl sort of dress. And Marion Cotillard looked hot but forgettable. The 'I-got-dressed-drunk' award HAS to go to Kirsten Dunst WHO WE LOVE. It nearly went to Winona Ryder, who we also love, but Kirsten really trumped her this year when she wore this:

It's just a pity Lady GaGa wasn't there to outdo them ALL.