Genuinely fascinating.

As far as we're concerned, Pixie Lott is not human. As a very wise and esteemed fellow blogger (xolondon) once said, she is a test tube baby. Her record label have managed an extraordinary scientific feat! They should win the Nobel prize for their scientific cunning, because what they have done is they have merged Duffy and Lady GaGa to create an über pop star. Someone who can not just sing like a merry old foghorn, but also dance like a jumping jack or something (!). Someone who will not only appeal to musty, middle-of-the-road types who listen solely to Radio 2 and buy all their CDs at Waitrose, but also to the cool young kids of tomorrow, shaping the future one Tinchy Stryder single at a time.

It's fascinating and impressive. You can almost imagine the board meeting:

What's popular right now is sort of this soul thing, because of that Winehouse lady who repopularised it years after it had gone out of style. We need our very on Winehouse. Our own Adele, our own Duffy, our own Gabriella Cilmi... *drifts off into reverie*... but we also hear on the grapevine that due to some GaGa lady, soul is out and being a leather jacket-wearing white girl singing about drugs to synth backing tracks is coming back. What we need is someone who can cover both bases and appeal to the oldies who are suckers for cheap synthesized horns and repetitive drum fills, and to the youngies who will buy anything by a fit blonde in a leotard doing jagged dancing and wearing sunglasses at night. Let's invent Pixie Lott.

Of course, we're joking. We're well aware that Ms. Lott was not invented, but is simply an extremely fit, rather bland stage school prodigy but it's fascinating nevertheless, n'est-ce pas? Also: note how they recruited half of Goldsmiths College to dance topless in the above video in order to make her seem more edgy!