Jozobolla writes about the new Cheryl Cole video.

Last night, in a Tia-Maria-induced stupour, Jozobolla sent us via medium of SMS a beautifully eloquent yet pleasingly concise review of the new Cheryl Kerl video, "Promise This", because we don't yet have internet connectation at our new swish pad in Manchester's glittering Platt Fields. You may ask "How on earth can you post this then!?" WE'RE AT THE LIBRARY DUH BRAIN. Take it from the top, Joz...

Just premiered on ITV2. All v 'sophisticated' 'luxe' 'muted'. Looks like a Belvedere/Lancôme ad. Highlight is her wearing 'wacky' tights and doing up-tempo jumpy Irish dance, but is otherwise bad impro/choreographed pas des deux. Editing is awful, inverted monochrome hyper-flashes and overlays bleurgh. Nice elemental theme, lots of L'Oréal lipgloss, A BIG FAT GRAZIA-ON-TREND-PAULA-REED-SPECIAL-MAXI, one bit where she's dressed as modern Gisele with haddocky pointe shoed feet doing awkward arms, lots of expansive Ray of Light fast forward sky shots and some rather good, creepy, wiry tree silhouettes. A sort of weak corporate 2010 hybrid of Tim Burton and the Spice Girls' "Holler" but with a 'mature grown up' caramel/beige palette. Nice wafty bit at end but bridge visuals dire.

And that is all.