A tale of two videos

We have a dissertation due in just over a week so we're gonna keep this brief y'all. Two popstars, both severely lacking in the personality department but generally quite likeable. One writes and produces her own stuff - evidently talented - yet consistently has terrible luck in the charts. The other does absolute jack-shit but still manages to score consecutive top five hits without taking her pinkie from her L'Oreal sponsored mane.

The video for "Every Night I Say a Prayer" was clearly on a budget - she did release it for free so we can't give her too much of a hard time - and pretty much consists of her weaving in and out of some fierce queens giving great vogue. She looks a bit older than she is, maybe it's the eyebrows? We're very satisfied with it though and can't quite understand the outpouring of disgust it's provoked online. Free - amazing - single, Little Boots, vogueing. Don't need much more.

Cheryl's latest, "Call My Name" (or "We Found Love v2.0", whichever you prefer) is a catchy earworm which will undoubtably be all over the charts/radios for the next few weeks. Does that mean we like it? Not sure. It's 'okay'. We'd happily watch the glossy, atrociously aesthetically-pleasing video a few more times but it's not something we'd slap on our iPhones. And there you go.

Now piss off, we've got another 1000 words to write today.