Obligatory X Factor Winner Post (Yes Yes WELL DONE EVERYONE).

Well, someone had to do it. And since neither the Irish goblin nor the group of men who look like metrosexual mechanics won (Has anyone else noticed how only the ladyboy sings? - Ed), I can write this with a heart that is not entirely leaden.

Alexandra (Leona 2.0 with testes, a soul and coordination) is victorious (who didn't see that one coming *rolls eyes in droll, knowing manner*) and will now commence taking over the world with some British Beyoncé ego-mania and a voice that sounds like a foghorn with vibrato (that's a compliment).

So hooray etc. etc. that someone who actually has talent and a possible personality has finally triumphed over the usual array of fame craving nitwits, and also looks very good in a sailor hat.

All considered, this is very good. Although the single WILL BE ATROCIOUS. The end. (We're hoping for an upbeat number off her forthcoming album, although we doubt that'll ever happen - Ed).