A post that isn't a list or a re-cap...

Sorry about all those lists and re-caps, we've been unutterably shit with the posting lately. We hate admitting when we've been shit, but we owe it to you, so: WE'VE BEEN SHIT. Moving swiftly on...

This is one of those obligatory X Factor posts that a lot of 'irreverent' (i.e. pretentious and humourless) blogs put up, having not written a single thing about the entire TV series previously. Well we have written about the X Factor previously, if only to instruct you not to witch-hunt Dannii Minogue (BUT WE HAVE, it still counts) so our 'obligatory X Factor post' is not irreverently wanky, it is justified and humourful (bear with us).

Well Joe McElderry won. Yes, the sweet, polite, gay one with the flawless musical theatre vocals and all the clout and personality of your average reality TV contest (so not much). But what does it all mean? Well damned if we know. Apparently Monsieur Cowell (the currently maths-obsessed Percentage Master) wants to take time over McElderberry Cordial's debut album, but we have a sinking feeling that no matter how long they take, it's not going to be the breakaway pure-as-the-driven-snow, kids-friendly, Disneyfied, High School Musical-style success that everyone at ITV is hoping.

More pronounced than any concerns we have over the Elderflower's career, is an overwhelming concern for the horridity (it's a real word, it exists) of that orange font up there. Utterly vile. And before anyone starts pointing fingers at OUR orange font in OUR wondrous logo, we would just like to say that it is flowery and pretty and festive, not just there, as Joe McBlossomberry's is.

MAGNIFICENT.

Our girl has done it.
Amazing costumes, brilliant vibe, and the Janet Jackson dance break was inspired. Well done Chezza, you've done us proud.

Don't tell us she's not a popstar...

This is exactly the sort of artist we thought the X Factor could never produce... so you can understand our excitement at our dream being realised!

Don't witch-hunt the Minogue...

First of all, what Dannii Minogue said on X Factor last night was extremely awkward, one could even say unnecessary. But it was not homophobic. And in a certain light was actually a pertinent point.

1. Dannii Minogue was referring to something that had been already written about in the papers. There was no 'outing'. Her point about changing the gender references in a song to appeal to a broader and mostly female/straight audience is a good one! Why should popstars shuffle around the idea of same sex couples and life? Lol
   


2. Last year there was an X Factor contestant called Austin Drage who was well known to be gay. He was by no means in the closet, but the second he got through to the live finals most of the evidence of him talking about it was yanked from the internet, and accompanied by cringe-inducing footage of Simon yammering on about the sexy female dancers who were 'distracting' the gay Austin. Lol
   

Erm... what do you consider to be more 'homophobic'? Dannii's attempt to point out the awkward and uncomfortable elephant in the room? Or Simon's attempts to stifle and hide an artist's sexuality to appeal to a larger fanbase?

As an unfathomably queer blog, we can't help but feel strange about the fact that the music industry, which is full of gay people not only performing but behind the scenes, is still so awkward about the idea of homosexuality. Lol

Obligatory X Factor Winner Post (Yes Yes WELL DONE EVERYONE).

Well, someone had to do it. And since neither the Irish goblin nor the group of men who look like metrosexual mechanics won (Has anyone else noticed how only the ladyboy sings? - Ed), I can write this with a heart that is not entirely leaden.

Alexandra (Leona 2.0 with testes, a soul and coordination) is victorious (who didn't see that one coming *rolls eyes in droll, knowing manner*) and will now commence taking over the world with some British Beyoncé ego-mania and a voice that sounds like a foghorn with vibrato (that's a compliment).

So hooray etc. etc. that someone who actually has talent and a possible personality has finally triumphed over the usual array of fame craving nitwits, and also looks very good in a sailor hat.

All considered, this is very good. Although the single WILL BE ATROCIOUS. The end. (We're hoping for an upbeat number off her forthcoming album, although we doubt that'll ever happen - Ed).