And now for something a little bit more intellectually stimulating...

Toy Story 3: a review.

As we're sure you've gathered, Shiny & New is a Disney-leaning blog. We like Disney. It's gay, it's beautiful, it's 'magical lulz' - something we possibly love a tad more is Pixar. Lucky us - Disney owns Pixar! If you are a reader of the regular type, you will also have gathered that we have been SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THE RELEASE OF THIS FILM.

In 1995, Toy Story changed the face of animated motion pictures forever, a grandiose statement but true none the less. It took the heart-string-plucking, stomach-winding, tear-duct-antagonising storytelling that as of yet only Disney had shown the capabilities to truly master and layered it between sheets of the most breath-taking, detailed tri-dimensional animation yet to be seen. In the years and movies that have followed this trailblazer, Pixar have accomplished the almost unthinkable feat of continuously outdoing themselves with each further venture. Last year's Up managed to keep up this trait yet when it comes to sequels it seems to be a whole new ball game. You don't need us to tell you that when it comes to sequels in Hollywood, it's not the most common thing for them to be as good as the mother movie, yet good old Pixar manages to not only meet the quality of the previous movie but to surpass it. This is in reference of course to 1998's masterful Toy Story 2, which took a spectacular return to the picture which started it all.

And twelve years later we are dragged most eagerly back to Andy's bed apart from he's moving out to college and no one wants the toys any more. We couldn't have possibly imagined a more natural, cohesive and appropriate ending to one of the finest motion picture trilogies to be made. Maybe it feels more significant to this post's writer due to him sharing the same age as Andy (hell, the same name too) in each film - 5 years old in 1995, 9 years old in 1999, 19 in 2009. We saw nothing but the action adventure of the toys in the first and second films, yet with the benefit of hindsight and maturity, found overwhelming resonance in the third film. The themes of abandonment, growing up and moving on are all too close to the bone and we feel as if we've genuinely grown up with the characters. That was one of the many reasons why choosing to place the second sequel in a real-time timeline, with the same amount of time passing within the film as it did in real-life, was so very genius.

There's no possible way we could pick apart the plot for you. The details are far too intricate and tied to describe any of the highlights without slightly spoiling the story. We will try and summarise as succinctly as possible the main points; the villain and his back story is absolutely incredible, the comedy is genuinely laugh out loud and not in the the slightest patronising and as with most Pixar films, the opening and closing sequences are ridiculously emotional and lump-in-throat-inducing.
This review hasn't in the slightest done any justice to what we believe has to be the most incredible second sequel to be made, but if it has encouraged anyone not particularly interested to take the plunge and see a 'kids film', it will have been well worth writing.

This is what 'Burlesque' will look like...

Well cripes.

Three fiery movie roles Madonna would have played to perfection...

1. Charley (Julianne Moore) in A Single Man - a camp, chain-smoking fag hag with a ridiculous transatlantic accent.

2. Elle Driver (Darryl Hannah) in Kill Bill vol. 1 & Kill Bill vol. 2 - a foul-mouthed veteran with a penchant for dress-up.

3. Madison Lee (Demi Moore) in Charlies Angels: Full Throttle - a cartoonish, scene-stealing maverick, still outsmarting her predecessors.

Just to let y'all know...

We are 'live tweeting' the 'Oscars' over at our offish twitter (well, duh). Follow us, enjoy, tell your friends, get drunk, vom down yourself, fall asleep.

UPDATE:
We got as far as 'live tweeting' the red carpet before we ran out of coherent and interesting things to say. Our thoughts on the ceremony? It was long. The interpretive dancing was horrendous but simultaneously the highpoint. We haven't even seen The Hurt Locker but we're beyond ecstatic for Kathryn Bigelow (you go girl, and all that). It wasn't heinous and that was the problem. The more awful the ceremony the more chance of staying awake. At least Avatar didn't win Best Picture. Sandy Bullock gives good speech. *falls back asleep*

Musings on 'A Single Man'...

Tom Ford's debut directorial piece is, in parts, heart-breakingly wonderful. The first 20 minutes especially are so taut, so stunning, so beautiful, painful and even funny that it's almost hard to breathe. Of course, credit is due in part to Tom Ford, but an enormous dollop of credit also belongs to Colin Firth: believe the hype, believe the superlatives, believe the reviews, this is a masterful performance and as near-perfect as it is possible for a film portrayal to be. When Firth's character George picks up the phone and is told his lover of 16 years has died, the grief that flickers across his face and the pain that registers in his restrained and almost standoffish voice is an absolute masterclass in understated and naturalistic acting.

Julianne Moore, too, delivers an assured and accomplished performance that throughout walks the thin line between beautiful and grotesque. There's also solid and pitch-perfect support from Matthew Goode, Lee Pace and Ginnifer Goodwin. Where the film falls down, however, is in the turns from some of the other supporting actors. Nicholas Hoult still doesn't seem to have mastered the art of acting. His mouth twitches up into a self-conscious smirk and his face is so strained into an approximation of false 'earnestness' that you're immediately aware that this is not one of George Falconer's students, Kenny Potter. This is Nicholas Hoult doing SERIOUS ACTING. The performance is not helped by his dodgy and almost robotic American accent. But if nothing else, Hoult at least looks better than he ever has done in a film before.

Another terrible performance comes in the form of Spanish supermodel Jon Kortajarena's debut film role. Despite being a young man of unfairly good looks (doubtless the reason he was cast) he inhabits the screen with all the presence of a bad smell, killing the momentum of the film and spoiling the audience's stunning involvement in the perfectly-reconstructed era with his clumsily delivered lines and constantly furrowed brow.

These two off-pitch performances might be inexcusable elsewhere but in a film with such wonderful turns from the rest of the cast, they just about gain our forgiveness. Something slightly less forgiveable is Tom Ford's clumsy insertion of scenes into the film that were not present in the book. Let us explain: we are not opposed to writers creating and inventing new scenes for a film adaptation of a book, we positively encourage it. But the new scenes must fit seamlessly in with the old. In A Single Man they were painfully clear. The aforementioned Spanish model's acting is not helped at all by the scene it takes place in with dialogue written (presumably by screenwriter Tom Ford) so clunky and silly. In another scene between Firth and Moore's characters, Moore exclaims jealously (and this is not in the book either) that she never thought Firth's relationship with his male lover was real or proper by simple virtue of the fact that it was gay.

Firth responds with the line "Is that what you think, after all these years?". Even his acting chops can't save the line, which sounds like it belongs in an episode of Hollyoaks or a student devised drama project, not an award-winning film. Ford has also inserted, and stop reading here if you don't want the plot spoiled for you at all (you have been warned), a storyline that involves Firth's character plotting his suicide. This isn't even hinted at in the book: George Falconer is miserable but far from suicidal. And it comes off as almost clichéd in the film - the idea of a piece of art covering a person's last day before they commit suicide is much overused although right now we can't think of any examples (bad journalism alert) - and although it actually elicits some light relief and laughs (yes, really) it feels unnecessary.

Despite these minor faults however, and they really do feel minor in the context of the film, Tom Ford shows immense promise as a director. Visual flairs and metaphors zip through the film with all the artfulness of an established and seasoned director. His style (which at the moment comes off as a cross between Almodóvar's and Stephen Daldry's - two important and excellent gay film directors) can only improve and start to inhabit its own unique groove and space. And what is most brilliant of all about A Single Man is that it is a classy, brave, intelligent and affecting gay piece of cinema which doesn't resort to cheap soft-porn tricks and is not only based on a book by an actual gay author, but directed by a gay man and inhabited by real gay sensibility.

Unlike Brokeback Mountain, a wonderful film made entirely by straight people and for straight people about a so-called gay experience that very few members of the real gay community have actually experienced, A Single Man is a wonderful film about a gay man's grief over the death of his long-term monogamous lover. For that reason it is important and wonderful and a piece of gay history in the making.

Return to New Orleans

Today we made a second trip to the picturehouse to see the latest addition to the Disney canon, The Princess and the Frog. We only tagged along because it was for a friend's birthday; we didn't go specifically to see the film, unlike last time. Upon said second viewing, we would like to re-evaluate our initial opinions.

First time round it all kind of went over our heads. It felt a bit standard, with none of the songs making a particularly strong impression upon us. This being Disney's big comeback to both the Broadway musical style and traditional ink animation, we felt it really needed to return with a bang to bring about a new Disney renaissance. Maybe it was because we were suffering from an unusually dehibilating hangover, but we left the cinema not particularly remembering much. Today we had a clear head. The songs were exhilerating - they brought the scenes to life, they were warm and delicious. The animation was sweeping and dazzling - the scene where Tiana imagines her restaurant in the future and the animation changes from the traditional style to a Art Deco influenced style with heavy blocks of colour was imaginative and impressive for example.

A factor we cannot ignore is the milestone introduction of Disney's very first black princess. We have had Arabic, Native American and Chinese additions to the roster but the lack of an African-American representative, particularly in the United States, was noticeable and becoming an increasingly large topic of discussion for Disney observers and African-American activists. We had read many extremely positive approvals of the decision to finally bring one to the table, but naturally there were going to be some detractors. Jezebel, a blog we want to point out we love, wrote a particularly cynical piece on how it was too little too late and Tiana's repeated mantra throughout the film of using hard work to get what she wanted in life was patronising and cheesy. Well, it may seem that way to most people above the age of 12 but the bulk of The Princess and the Frog's target audience is below that age and any instance of a powerful role model proclaiming hard work to be the best way to achieve success, and not other paths such as altering cosmetic features or dumbing yourself down can only be an excellent thing in our opinion.
While their first late 80s/early 90s renaissance showed us truly independent, intelligent and strong women (Ariel, Belle and Jasmine), their first round of princesses in the 50s were arguably presented equally headstrong, for the time period at least. Cinderella toiled to achieve her goal, Aurora wouldn't take no for an answer. Disney have a duty to perform for their audience. While you could argue portraying the princesses as finding the man of their dreams and living happily ever after is completely unrealistic and damaging, they are not harmful goals to work towards. Essentially the films encourage young girls (and boys) to find happiness, and the tradition which has been taken up to The Princess and the Frog teaches, if nothing else, the finest way to reach your aims in life, ergo happiness, is through solid hard work, perseverance and a little dash of pixie dust.

Top Ten of the Week: Studio Ghibli Films

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The Princess, Precious and Ponyo

The Princess and the Frog - 7/10
A return to the big old gay Disney we know and love. We wouldn't say it scales the dizzying heights of The Little Mermaid or Beauty and the Beast for example but it's certainly most of the way there. Well done!

Precious - 8/10
Anything and everything we want to say about this film has been said before countless times, and in more eloquent ways. It's amazing. It's horrible. It's devastating. It's real. It's a real bastard that will beat you up but it's worth the journey. Go.

Ponyo - ?/10
We'll see tomorrow. We just wanted to include it because it made the title sound fancier.

This might not be as terrible as it sounded...

If you'd seen any of the pictures of Christina Aguilera and Cher shooting scenes for up-and-coming Cult Camp Classic (to be confirmed), Burlesque, you'd be forgiven for thinking it was gonna be the most boring movie about stripping ever made! We mean, look at these photos (via Dlisted). It looks like they're filming an Activia anti-digestivum bifidustifum advert, not a 'motion picture' about sparkles and nipples. Where are the sequinned basques and horse-hair whips? Where's the giant martini glass full of spongey ice cubes? Where's the rocking horse? (!)

Yeah, yeah we know those are pictures of them filming on the streets, but still. People who do Burlesque don't walk around dressed like that between shows. Look at Dita von Teese! She doesn't own an item of clothing that isn't in some way vintage or glittery. Or both! She doesn't wear chunky-knit-sweater-dresses. She rocks 'burlesque' every day.

And yes, we get that Christina Aguilera is probably not playing an internationally-renowned, unthinkably rich, modern Burlesque icon, like dear Dita. She's probably playing some down-on-her-luck, but gutsy everygirl, who gets a job at her local 'Burlesque' club where the dancing is more Pussyflap Trolls, than Dita von Teese or Immodesty Blaize. BUT YOU GET THE PICTURE. Those aforemtioned (and aforelinked) pictures are BORING and hinted at a film full of dullness as well as terribleness, which is a given.

Anyway if you watch the exclusive 'behind the scenes' footage above, you'll see that the film is going to have more in common with Aguilera's "Dirrty" and "Lady Marmalade" videos than you possibly could have hoped for. It'll probably still be awful, but at least it'll be sparkly and fun. Oh and Cher, acting really isn't that hard, babe. We hope you were employing ultra-dry humour, and it just didn't register on your face, because we'd like to see you working a night shift at an understaffed hospital and then call acting hard.

A review that was meant to have been written a very long time ago...

If you tend to pay any interest to the silly Top Ten of the Week we occasionally update, you will notice this week's selection is movies produced by Pixar Animation Studios. If you have any sense of taste - well clearly you do as you're reading this blog - you will be quite aware no one is doing animation like Pixar. You can strip away the technology-defying, mind-blowing art; you could probably get away with removing the warm, genuine wit and humour the movies are known for, and you would still be left with a fantastic, enrapturing story at it's heart - shoes once filled by Disney but when they dropped the ball, Pixar eagerly picked it up with 1995's Toy Story.
In November last year, we had the sheer pleasure of viewing the latest picture in the Pixar canon, Up. We were genuinely baffled at the concept of Pixar topping themselves yet again, but that's what they somehow managed to do. An absolutely breath-taking ride of a film, this was possibly the most emotionally moving film they have produced yet, with several tears shed throughout. We had been looking forward to seeing the film since October 2008 when the first teasers leaked - it featured in our "What's Shiny and New in 2009?" list in December 2008 - and it was more than worth the wait. Like only the finest, it had laugh out loud comedy, edge of the seat action and drama and that pull on the heart strings only Disney - well, Pixar is owned by Disney - can do so well. The artistry and technology used boggled the mind and showed that Pixar only continue to set the ever-rising standard in animation.

Get the DVD. If you have the means to do so, get the Blu-ray instead - we're sure it's probably worth the extra cash Disney will squeeze out of you for it.

Top Ten of the Week: Sequels Better Than the Original

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And now for something completely different...

We know we are basically a music blog, and as such, mostly write about music (well durrrrr)... but sometimes we just feel the need to widen our focus a bit, and so we shall. If you haven't seen fun and genuinely touching British film An Education, then we suggest you do so. It's sweet, and affecting and totally captures what it's like to simultaneously feel old before your time and frighteningly naïve, as a teenager.

One of the reasons it's so good and not just another coming-of-age-tale with prestige pretensions, is the radiant, ridiculously likeable and vulnerable performance from the excellent young Carey Mulligan (seen here in US Vogue). She's a star on the rise and all that stuff, and we've been a fan ever since she played that OTHER sister in the Keira Knightley Pride & Prejudice (you know... the one that wasn't Rosamund Pike, Keira Knightley, Jena Malone or that girl from St. Trinian's). She also made a fetching heroine in one of the better Dr. Who episodes, "Blink".

Anyway: 'amazing times', readers.

Finally some news we can all enjoy: Björk writes song for Moomin film soundtrack...

Eternal Goddess Björk, who can be seen above wearing a fetching Moomintroll t-shirt, is going to be writing a song for the Moomin film soundtrack: this is real news. The film will be out in autumn 2010 (see, we are occasionally actually informative) and according to an oft-reliable source B's song is called "The Comet Song". So far, so exciting. What we REALLY want, of course, is a new Björk album, but you just know she's going to make us wait til 2014 for that.

That's about all the information we've got at this moment in time, but check back for unreliable, hysterical, irregular and misinformed posts when you feel like it.

¡Infinito y mas alla!

This. Looks. Amazing.

It's been a long time since we last met our childhood friends. Toy Story and it's even better sequel Toy Story 2 have been a sacred part of our childhood along with those of people across the world since our first viewing, so we cannot help but get ridiculously excited at the prospect of being taken right back to our youth via even more improved graphics (I know, how the fuck can Pixar improve their graphics AGAIN?) and that heart-warming, soul-hugging, spine-tingling feeling you can only get from Disney and Pixar films.

Buzz Lightyear in Spanish? We cannot wait.

Top Ten of the Week: Things The 80s Gave Us

10. The Neverending Story

9. Nintendo GameBoy


8. Heathers


7. Michael Jackson
THE KING OF POP


6. The Breakfast Club


5. The Smiths


4. Keith Haring



3. Tokyo Disneyland


2. Madonna
THE QUEEN OF POP


1. Taste so bad it's good

Young, hip, and so beautiful...

Bridging the gap between Heathers and Mean Girls, Clueless was arguably the grandest celluloid influence on our pre-pubescent lives. Cher, Dionne and Brittany Murphy were a sweet and possibly fiercer version of the mean girls themselves, and infinitely enriched our gay-before-we-knew-we-were-gay lives.

Revel.

A potentially exciting collaboration...

We've got a lot of sentimentality attached to our childhood(s) and can you blame us? It was before everything went tits up and we had to start worrying about the ins and outs of social etiquette (for example: is it socially acceptable to have one Paris Hilton song on your iPod? It's just ONE song!!!). One of the things we have sentimentality attached to is the book of Where The Wild Things Are. Well, some of us do... others of us were scared shitless by it, but everyone's different and special (like snowflakes, or rectums if Margaret Cho is to be believed).

Anyway an "awesome-looking" (that's a quote... the state of journalism these days!!!) film adaptation directed by Spike Jonze, he of the 'awesome' films and Björk music videos, is around the corner and for the soundtrack Karen O is in charge. It's officially credited to Karen O and the Kids which just means Karen O and various collaborators. Anyway there's even going to be a single from the whole project and you can 'preview' it here as well as find out some juicy tidbits about the movie itself:

Exciting, n'est-ce pas?

Top Ten of the Week: Disney Classics

Thank you to Disney Movies? Fuck Yeah! for some of the beautiful screenshots.

10. The Jungle Book


9. Lilo & Stitch


8. Dumbo


7. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves


6. Cinderella


5. Sleeping Beauty


4. Pocahontas


3. Mulan


2. The Little Mermaid


1. Beauty and the Beast