Baby Cheeses?

Enjoy a mince pie on our behalf, darling readers.

Merry Christmas x

Express Yourself.

Today is a very very very special day (no it's not the day Madonna's critically acclaimed novella The English Roses - Ready, Set, Vote is released to paperback... see above). It's the day you get to tell Britain not to go for second best baby, put your vote to the test, you know you know you've got to make Britain express itself because then you'll know its love is real (?). Okay that didn't work nearly as well as we thought it would.

Anyway, vote carefully, and as for our voting allegiances, we shan't say (all part of our feminine mystique, as Linda LaHughes would say) but considering how shirtlifter-orientated our whole blog is, we're thinking it's quite obvious.

Happy voting!
xoxo

More Holiness...

Be Holy and Clean this Easter. Be Shiny & New.

EASTER LOLZ JESUS.

Just what you want at this holy time of chocolate and lamb shanks (?) - a song about rape and sexual abuse that uses crucifixion as a metaphor for... well... not sure. Self-pitying? Self-blame? Self-hatred? Low self-esteem? Depression? Anti-feminism?

Whatever, we hope you have a Happy Easter Time and remember that Jesus died for you, so that you could gorge yourself on Creme Eggs and contemplate suicide when you notice how fat you've become.

xoxo

P.S. Oooh never noticed how 'crucifixion' has an x (a CROSS) in it. How cryptic. Must be a conspiracy. *rings up Dan Brown to suggest sequel to The Da Vinci Code*

Long time no speak?

What a fabulous Christmas we had. Plenty of excellent food, moderate to good television, reconnecting and enjoying family and friends, and of course a big satistifying sack from Santa.

We will be back with a big in 2010. Soon we will be bringing you the second annual installments of Albums of the Year and What's Shiny and New, and then the fun really will begin. We will leave you now to finish off the turkey in the fridge and continue watching RSC members do a 'flash mob' at Waterloo Station. Nothing on Janet Jackson's.

'Seasonal Greetings', sort of (and continued above)...

Yes, yes, yes. We hope you had a fantasmic Christmas holidaytime. Ours was alternately wonderful, boring and traumatic, before being wonderful again but there we go. Such is life. Madonna and Blingee (!) also hope you had a fabulous Christitimes. So there youse have it!

Not much is going on in the world of 'popular' music, it being the hoooolidays and all, so not much is going on chez Shiny & New. We apologise! Back soon, though. With a cornucopia of treaties. Just you wait.

Housekeeping Note.

We'd like to apologise to our 'legions' of dedicated fans, for our laxness in the posting area of recent. We're going through one of those awful internet-less patches that occur whence moving house, and it may extend throughout the next couple of weeks so PLEASE BE PATIENT. We will resume our usual posting schedule as soon as things are back up on their feet. Until then, keep clicking back for little bits and pieces, and don't GIVE UP. We are still Shiny. We are still New. We still love you.

xoxo

Le Note de la Housekeeping.

We are well aware that that's not actually how you say 'Housekeeping Note' in French. That would be 'mot ménagère' or something. Actually, now we come to think of it, is 'Housekeeping Note' even a phrase in English or is it something we've accidentally made up? Did we originally intend to write 'Programming Note' and then just forget. Or did we actually write 'Programming Note' and then forget... do we know if we really exist, or are we all just living in a Matrix, controlled by a malevolent daemon?

Oh, phew, "Housekeeping Note" is a phrase, although perhaps not as common as we'd thought. Can two words constitute a phrase?

*head explodes*

ANYWAY... we are off to the gay ol' city of Paris tomorrow for ten whole days, and therefore expect NO BLOGGING (unless Jozobolla gets bored and needs to vent). We'll pick up where we left off on our return. Unfortunately we predict that "Celebration" by Madonna will be leaked during out absence and we'll feel terribly behind when we get back. Behind like Jo Wiley. *shudders*

Well have a good time without us, we'll have a spanktacular time without you... No, really, we love you all. Happy holiday! Celebrate!

xoxo

GONE FISHIN'

We are (unfortunately for you) away at Latitude Festival in (not so) sunny Suffolk from tomorrow until Monday now, witnessing the delights of Grace Jones, Pet Shop Boys, Regina Spektor, the Gossip, Ladyhawke, Bat for Lashes, Little Boots, and many more we're sure (maybe even Mika Acoustic. Actually, no).

Kay bai!

Housekeeping Note.

You may have noticed that our blog hasn't been updated in a few days. NO, NEVER FEAR, WE HAVEN'T ABANDONED IT FOREVER. We just went on a long weekend country trip. It was fantastic, thank you. We were tempted to pre-write some posts and stagger them to be auto-posted across our petit holiday but because we're lazy and stupid we didn't, so NER to more competent music blogs worldwide.

We also went on the very best Shiny & New field trip of our lives and visited Madonna at the O2 Arena for the second incarnation of her Sticky & Sweet tour. Tour review to follow shortly, but to give you a clue as to how we felt about it: amazing beyond words. To commemorate this occasion we've done the current Top Ten of the Week on Madonna albums, the irony being that there are only 11 of them so 90.90% recurring of them are on the list anyway. Yes we realise this is neither ironic nor clever.

So sue us.

Housekeeping Note.

Tomorrow we're off to Mallorca for 10 days so you'll have to do without us folks.

That'll be all.

See you soon!

x

AHEM.

Seeing as one of our number is in Florida, living the high life and our lesbian columnist is washing dishes for cash somewhere in the British countryside and our Resident Hot Mess has gone missing in action somewhere between Switzerland and the USA... that just leaves lil' ol' me (and my chesty cough).

There's nothing really left to say. Before too long we'll be posting our albums of the year (in no particular order), our singles of the year (in a sort of particular order) and our videos of the year (again in no particular order) and then we think we're gonna call it a day for Christmas.

You know how it is. Spending the wintry holiday somewhere without internet access or actually having to interact with your family or having better things to do. We'll be back in the New Year though, bigger, badder and better than ever.

This blog started off as a way to pass time and let of steam for a loved up gay couple and their various acquaintances and has actually developed into a living, breathing blog. We love it and we're glad that the 1.4 readers we have love it too (even if they leave sarky comments... you know who you are).

I guess what we're trying to say is MERRY CHRISTMAS and all that. Check back soon for our lists of the year, have a good (drunken) one and we'll see you once again in 2009 for more Madonna-related gushing, badly written pop reviews and lesbian whinging.

x

We would like to apologise to our LEGIONS OF FANS

Shiny & New would like to officially apologise to their millions of fans for their recent lack of output. This is due to the fact that all three writers of the blog are now back in full-time education with two of that number having just started university as undergraduates and the third having been studying for his all-important A2 Levels for several weeks now. We love this blog and take it very seriously so we would like to apologise for this slacking.

Anyway to make up for this we're going to cover all the necessary recent news in Popular Musikz in a HUMOROUS AND IRREVERENT TONE.

1. Monrose (second best girl band in the world and winners of German Popstars Series 5) have just released their third album entitled I Am. It is full of amazingly cheesey ballads and some brilliant electropop stompers and despite containing the worst song EVER (a cover of Sheila E's "A Love Bizarre") it is one of the pop albums of the year so far for the lyrics in the bridge of track 3, "Certified": "I want you to explore my fortress/Diamonds are forever/I've got plenty in my treasure chest chest chest." Sensational.


2. Britney's new single, 'Womanizer' is not quite the pop masterpiece of the year but is nevertheless brilliant and like 'Gimme More' and 'Me Against The Music' before it is laying the foundations for pop single of the year in the tradition of 'Toxic' and 'Piece of Me'


3. Ladyhawke's debut album is out now and is one of the best albums of the year.


4. Girls Aloud's new album is called 'Out Of Control'. That is a shit name for an album but then so was 'Tangled Up' and that one turned out alright in the end.


5. DO NOT GO AND SEE 'THE WOMEN' IN THE CINEMA. IT IS THE WORST FILM EVER MADE.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

IT IS LITERALLY THE WORST PIECE OF CINEMA EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.